Toxic masculinity is a global phenomenon, but nowhere is it more virulent than in this hypermodern, connected society. What can other countries learn from this ‘ground zero’ of misogyny?
Toxic masculinity is a global phenomenon, but nowhere is it more virulent than in this hypermodern, connected society. What can other countries learn from this ‘ground zero’ of misogyny?
Not really, can’t choose your family. And your ability to relocate jobs, community, or even out of relationships can be restricted by income.
And trying to change our culture is often met with reactionary backlash. I don’t know if you’ve looked into Edward Bernays but the state of gender relations started bad here by default and was made institutionally disastrous by our government. It actually is baked in to our culture just to be shitty to women and others who don’t meet specific ideals.
Ok some women grew up in households with loser men in charge and useless moms.
What would you estimate % of such households is?
I don’t know, don’t really need a number personally. I know I grew up with bad male figures and I know women who had bad male figures including my mother and aunts.
If you made me guess I’d say 90% just based on the number of women who have disclosed to me something fucked up happening to them. Don’t think you can verify that number though because people don’t exactly report their families. None that I know did.
Are you actually interested in any of this? It’s strongly tied to men’s liberation but I get the feeling you might be coming at this from a “which gender is worse” angle.
This is not women v men discussion. I am trying to understand how some men’s poor behaviour is being used to suggest that this is the norm.
This is not my personal experience. That’s now how women in my life were raised. They don’t tolerate loser men to any degree.
Picking a good partner is likely the most important decision any person can make. So even if you come from bad background, it is still on you to make the right choices. That’s how systematic change happens.
Oh! Glad to hear it. I fall for sealioning a lot so I was afraid I did it again.
It sounds like the people in your life had good upbringing and social support. I suppose for perspective I grew up in a place where that’s uncommon. I’m glad people are safe to be themselves around you.
Picking a good partner is a huge thing but there are factors that effect that. Like children who are abused or neglected will be vulnerable to abusers when they’re older. Also abusers are proficient at hiding themselves until they have a potential victim in a vulnerable position. I suppose the reason there’s such a strong outcry to change our culture here is because it has made ideal conditions for men to become abusers to women and to each other without recourse. The ones who do get punished are ones that just failed their stealth check to misuse power within what our culture considers acceptable.
Correct and that’s why good parenting is key. And if somebody’a parents don’t teach these skills, than either that person has to do it on their own or fall into the cycle of abuse.
These people won’t be fixed, they must be avoided. Hence why my point above about partners. By the time somebody is in an abusing dynamic, it is already top late.
We literally got rich pedophiles getting away with child rape for decades and FBI is protecting them from justice. Only loser men get in trouble it seems and only sometimes. Can’t rely on the system or society on such things. I have lost any faith in the system.
People should be taught to help themselves first and for most. Then help people around them whenever they can. The best one can hope from the system is to not get fucked by it.
https://www.motherjones.com/criminal-justice/2024/10/victim-suspect-pbs-newshour-sexual-assault-rape-teen-polk-county-florida/
That’s kind of a component of the problem though: everybody thinks that they’re parenting good and you may be able to teach them other things but usually you can’t tell them how to raise their children. There’s, just like a cognitive resistance to that. Some sort of cultural narcissism about the very act of parenting.
I don’t think anyone thinks you shouldn’t avoid abusers. Everyone’s already doing our best. If it was something that can be done on an individual level or simply being raised right, they wouldn’t be a problem. You should read into the concept of “whisper networks” though. They’re a flawed tool but they’re sadly the most effective systemic solution for some women to avoid predatory men. They kind of fail outside of that specific dynamic though
I worry your final sentiment there is a trap. We men are dying because we’re trying to navigate this alone. We need to be there for another and teach another how to break this problem which is cyclical. Yes, the system is built to turn us into monsters but I got out. Women in my life taught me to divest myself of power even though they were themselves victimized. And if you’re on this comm then you’re obviously looking for a way out of that cycle too. I haven’t looked at your profile but I assume you’ve reached out to guide other men along a gentler path at least once in your life.