Warning: angry rant below
So I lost lost the Username and Passwords to all my 3 credit bureau accounts, and also the email account, this appened like earlier this year, (or maybe last year not sure… anyways…). I didn’t bother resetting at the time since I didn’t need to get a credit card or loan or anything.
But today I decided to reset those accounts to check my credit. So I started with calling Experian to try to reset the account. So right away, I’m already mildly annoud that a fucking automated voice Bot took the call and then on top of that, they fucking played a fake “keyboard typing” sound to mimic a human typing on a keyboard after every response 🤦♂️, like yo I know its a bot, stop with this BS. So it asks what I need help with, “accessing account”, okay it asks for SSN and zip code, okay gave that, then this bot just sent a reset to my email, WHICH I DONT HAVE ACCESS TO!!!, okay no problem, I’ll just talk to a person, “talk to a representative”, okay this is the most infuriating part, bot says “I’M SORRY, I’M ONLY ABLE TO DO THAT IN LIMITED CIRCUMATANCES” (paraphrased, I don’t remember the exact wording)… excuse me what the fuck, this audacity of this fucking bot, I say it again, but the only 2 options are “continue” with the automatic self-help system, or “end call”… MOTHERF****R 🤬🤬🤬
Jesus Fucking Christ, who gave these stupid “Credit Bureaus” their authority?
I see a future of:
“Hello 911, please send an ambulance, I’m dying.”
Bot: “Sorry, not blood detected, unable to dispatch an ambulance”
dude was having a heart attack, of course no blood was detected
You know what the secret is? Just start speaking nonsense and it will get confused. Lean heavy into a regional accent as well so it can’t understand.
“Eeyup, ars thar doin’? Ad be reyt, but av lost me notes of me password— tin tin tin”
(This was an attempt at transcribing someone saying in a heavy Yorkshire accent: “Hello, how are you doing? I would be okay, but I’ve lost my notes of my password. It isn’t in the tin”. (I had to squeeze in “tin tin tin” to this somehow because that’s one of my favourite mini jokes about heavy Yorkshire accents.)
My family is from Yorkshire, and I recognised it immediately (and the ‘tint in’ tin joke!)… So well done from me?
Also just press random keys that aren’t in the list of options it gives you.
I tried pressing “0” “9” or anything, the fucking bot hanged up on me
“Thank you for calling, Goodbye” NOOOOO I WASN’T DONE WITH YOU, YA F***KING BOT
FTC complaint here I go, oh I hope the FTC does something before Jan 20, cuz the new commission chair aint gonna help.
The new FTC’s job will be to void all regulations and dissolve itself because some South African got beef with it.
A lot of them just hang up on you when they get confused.
Yeah I’ve had that happen, too.
Still my first method because it works most of the time.