So, I’m in a long-term relationship with my loving partner, and everything is good, except for the matters of sex. Suffice it to say, one partner (male) has a very overwhelming sexual drive, while the other (female) needs sex like once a month (and it has always been so throughout life). Partners are monogamous and do not explore options of having a third party.
Can any good advice be derived for such cases? Is there something that can be done to improve things on each side? I would love to hear your advice.
I have a much higher sex drive than my wife. We have been married 21 years. I want sex two to three times a week, she doesn’t think about it at all and will happily not have sex for a couple of months.
Just because she doesn’t need it or think about it doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy it when it happens.
Communicate a lot. Not just when you want sex, all the time about everything. Make her feel part of your life. Be close, emotionally and physically, without always initiating. When you are having sex, make sure her needs are met, preferably before your own. Become a generous and giving lover.
Let her know how you feel after sex.
Doing this has meant that my wife is more attuned to the way I am feeling and more relaxed and likely to agree to sex.
True! She does enjoy actual sex, but often finds it hard to initiate, to get to that edge after which primal takes over.
We do have a lot of communication, and I make sure to share love without always preying on her lol. Though it gets complicated sometimes - regardless of her drive.
I also focus on her pleasure and reduce her anxieties about the receptive role as she often looked at sex as a sort of chore to please the man.
Mine is like that too with a bunch of things. No food ever sounds good until she starts eating.
Same with sex. But after a few minutes of rubbing her back or other physical intimacy, she’s hungry for more.