Tried this, don’t recommend, makes the past even louder

Bold of you to assume that.

With my childhood gifted kid status and my ADHD hypermemory I can remember all of my mistakes no matter how small and continuously excoriate myself for them always

I just get blackout drunk. Maybe I made some grave mistakes, maybe I didn’t. I don’t remember anything and all I have to go by is what everyone at the company picnic said. And why should I believe them?