I feel like I struggle with this in all facets, especially as I love fantasy books and it tends to make me feel more down about my real, mundane life, but I feel like I notice the most impact when it comes to relationships.
This isn’t just my current one, but also great relationships I’ve had in the past that ended amicably. I’m in a great relationship now. He’s loving, caring, attentive, romantic, handsome, hard-working, etc etc. But I feel like every time I read a romance novel (especially one written by a woman), it makes me look at all of my relationships in a new light in my head. No one is freaking perfect and lord knows I’m far from it, but a lot of the male love interests I’ve read about in novels are portrayed to perfection with the perfect amount of emotional intelligence that just no real person has.
I don’t know. I love my current relationship and I’m very serious about it, but I don’t love how romance books always ignites this insanely unachievable hopelessly romantic side of me. Do I just have to stop reading completely lol? Is anyone else like this? What can I do?
I don’t think you need to think of it as being truly dissatisfied with your OWN life, you are wistfully wishing you could stay in the universe of the book you enjoyed, which is a common feeling to feel when you get to the end of a story you like — I think all readers have experienced end-of-book depression (if the book is good!)
I will let myself enjoy wallowing in that feeling for a bit but at some point I have to go to something totally different to snap out of it, like watch a few episodes of a light sitcom I’ve seen a dozen times. Re-enter “my” world. (Though if I’ve gotten into a series reentry may not happen for a good long while…)
If you’re like me and get totally absorbed in the stories you like (and I’m a romance reader too) the end of the story can be a jarring transition…but the absorbing nature of emotionally compelling stories like you find in romance is also the draw. So unless it’s really devastating you to the point where it’s unfun it would be a shame to deny yourself what you like, in my opinion.