Why I think he is emotionally abusive:
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He doesn’t translate everything as he should and only translates in a manner that suits his situation and needs.
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Omits essential information all the time.
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Right before the wedding he decides to break up because she confided in her parents. But it’s okay when he does the same and turns everyone against her. Who runs to their mommy after there’s been a fight with a partner and talks shit about them to their entire family?
4.He always has to have the upper hand: Threatens to leave Kimberly or asks her to leave in every fight, Whenever he is asked to make a compromise - “Am I your servant?” “I’m not your servant” wth does that even mean?
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In effect he has entirely isolated her from his family and is trying to isolate her from her own family too.
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Straight up lied about the family situation and “wifely duties”.
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No safe space for Kimberly to go to, no one to confide in
Controlling someone in that manner and stripping away their identity bit by bit is absolutely not okay. I say this not because Kimberly is expected to make compromises, but because she is being expected to keep quiet about things that bother her and change the way she thinks. The situation is classic 101 guide in how to break someone’s spirit and make them complacent.
I’ve dated plenty of Indian men. When you don’t fit into the parameters of their families expectations they tend to tiptoe around a lot of things 1 being they often don’t even let their family know you exist and If you do it’s under the guise of friendship. The fact that TJ and Kimberly were married and he withheld information pertinent information from my opinion feels like this particular way of “if I don’t say anything I’m innocent” and from my experience they have a tendency to play dumb.
Yep very close to my experience dating an Indian man and I’m a white American woman. I would feel so guilty because other white women would be like “is he abusive? I’ve heard Indian men can be abusive” and I thought it would be racist to say yes, so I hid away a lot of problems and made excuses. A lot of anger, manipulation, avoidance. Hated it.
Yeah, I’m Indian born and grown up in Canada and I’m female, but my recent experience with my cousin from India confirms this. She was the exact same, playing dumb, outright lying/denying things/gaslighting to make her side seem wholly innocent and wholesome. After seeing her true arrogant nature, we had a huge fall-out and I don’t think I can trust another Indian again. It was a mindf* because she was sooo kind, “considerate”, helpful, etc, but in the end it was being opportunistic and deceitful.