There are graphics that show the “culture shock curve” and I think they’re pretty accurate. Most people will feel a honeymoon phase, then culture shock, then a level of adjustment, then the real culture shock with depression and/or anxiety. That point is when a lot of people go home. The people who do stay usually push through to a level of integration. And you can sometimes go through those cycles more than once. And it may not look the same for everyone.

I printed off one of the graphs and keep it on my refrigerator to remind me that when I’m sometimes feeling depressed or homesick that it passes. And if it doesn’t pass, it’s okay to go home. Your mental health is super important and there are more things to life than money. Just remember that a lot of people experience reverse culture shock when they return home so you may end up in the same cycle to push through so be aware of it and talk to a therapist if you need to.

I also find that during the winter, my anxiety gets worse. My doctor tested my Vitamin D and I was shocked how quickly it drops in the fall/winter and I live in a reasonably sunny place. Most people just aren’t outside in the winter as much because of the weather. I take a weekly supplement now and it helps a ton with my winter anxiety.

I’d look at Baltimore. There are actually more tech jobs available than people assume and it’s affordable for big cities.

Even if you absolutely love your current life, you left something behind and it’s normal to go through the stages of grief over that. Just let yourself feel it and eventually the feelings will resolve.