As the title, I relocated to Switzerland 10 months ago.
In the beginning I had the usual normal anxieties of moving away from home for the first time. However as time went by, adapting to living in Switzerland became harder for me.
I feel a bit defeated because Switzerland is a beautiful place and there are so many good things I love about it, but I just cannot seem to be happy 😔 winter is now here and I feel a bit worse.
I am thinking of moving back to my home country. The thought of being back around my family, the things I love to do, my old friends is making me want to go back more and more. I had an easy life but my salary was not the best hence why I wanted to move.
Is it normal to regret? I am very disappointed in myself for feeling like giving up and going back. But I have been quite depressed for the last 7 months.
When I said the words out loud that I want to go back home I felt a huge sense of relief…however I am still hesitant to lose the opportunity to live here.
I am welcoming any advice you can share. Thank you everyone.
Back in the days when bush was running against gore I said if bush wins I’m leaving the country. Haven’t been back since.
Health and mental health is priority 1, money cant fix that.
There is no normal or not-normal or paranormal, different people like different living situations and have different living preferences…
If main the problem is that you miss your friends or family, there is no magical way to have them all here.
If the main problem is that you have not found enough interests/hobbies/ways to enjoy Switzerland yet then sure, i would wait a bit more before moving back, would e.g. learn skiing/snowboarding in the winter, give it some more time to make new friends, travel more in Switzerland etc.
I get you . Sometimes a country, however good objectively, is just not ‘home’.
Yet, as others on this thread have suggested - give it another year. If things don’t look like working out, go back.
You need more time. 10 months isn’t enough to get over culture shock and home sickness when you’re living abroad long term or indefinitely.
Go to the pharmacy and get some vitamin D. Back in Canada I used to get it as a spray. It helps a lot with seasonal depression.
And remember, leaving where you are doesn’t mean you have to return home. There are other countries to explore.
10 months is more than enough to know that you don’t like a place. Staying more doesn’t make a difference in my experience (lived in 5 countries). There’s a much bigger risk for OP to be even more depressed though.
10 months is ages - if you dont like it, you dont like it
10 months is a drop in a bucket. U have to give it some real time. I gave Poland 2 years, china 9 years and turkey 8 years (and counting), 10 months is barely enough time to feel the country and your reactions to it to be true
10 months is enough to know whether you like somewhere though. I lived in 4 foreign countries. Three of them I liked and one I didn’t. The ones that I liked, I liked straight away. The one that I didn’t like, I found hard in the beginning and I kept expecting it to get easier, but 2.5 years later I was still miserable.
How’s Turkey?? Obviously a very broad question, but I’d like to move there in future 😊
Oh, it’s great 😃👍 but it’s very difficult to be here, at least long term for the moment, they’re in the middle of trying to kick out foreigners from “rich” countries at the moment, making it very difficult to get residence permits renewed and rejecting many first time applications for residence permits, they’re blaming us for the housing crisis and making it difficult unless u either own a property (before it used to be owning any property, then it was changed to 75k+ usd and then recently it has to be worth 200k+ usd). They’re making it difficult even for foreigners who are married to Turks, own property, have Turkish kids, etc etc…my wife and I have been here for a long time and our baby was born here and we’ve had to hire a lawyer to help us stay, for the moment it’s been working, but we’ll see how long it lasts
Gosh darn it, I’ve definitely heard the most recent residency struggles have really ramped up since Erdogan “won” the last election 🙄 That’s geopolitics for you, the administration is more concerned about foreign influence than their own people. I have dual citizenship from a middle-income allied Balkan nation (so finger’s crossed that works in my favor) . . I don’t intend to disclose my U.S. citizenship lol
It entirely depends on how long she’s supposed to be there for. There are stages to adjustment and culture shock. If it’s one year, the first three months will be the hardest. If it’s three years, the first year could be difficult. It’s all in relation to the amount of time you’re expected to be in a location.
Not to say she shouldn’t go, but there’s always a period of questioning and turmoil where you don’t quite fit in. If she feels it’s what’s best for her then of course she should go. I ain’t her keeper.
I stayed abroad an extra year because of uncertain feelings. I think I was more unhappy after that extra year. I’m glad I stuck it out longer but I ultimately still wanted to return home at the end of the day.
Yup - and a SAD lamo and a therapist.
Well I would say most of the stuff you say are really relatable. It is hard to answer but I understand how you feel.
If I was in your case, I would still give it some more time. Maybe a year more or 6 months. I do believe it can change and it is still early to judge.
But also sometimes you just know. My friend for example left a country he dreamed of after staying there for 3 months. He hesitated at first but doesn’t regret it now and is really happy.
Life is short and if you know you are unhappy you shouldn’t spend much more time there just because of the opportunities. But at the same time it is important to stay and understand why this feelings are there.
Try to understand what is making you sad, what do you like vs don’t like. Try to question everything and understand your expectations. Then you can evaluate whether if its worth trying out more or not. Those kind of evaluations also happen by time and experience so that’s why I said give it some more time. Switzerland is a HARD country to integrate to, but some stuff are possible. Is it the loneliness, language, culture, something else etc. try to understand what is making you feel this way and then evaluate leaving vs. staying.
Wherever you go, you’re taking yourself with you.
Maybe you need to consider whether it’s you or your surroundings.
You never really know what it’s going to be like until you spend some time there, and some countries are really hard to break into. Personally, I try for a year before really deciding. I’m possibly older, however, I rarely move somewhere just for money these days, I find these type of decisions have always been the worst ones, and moving for culture/experience my best expat experiences.
This post is so relatable. I know i will not stay in my country , italy, for many more years; i really want to live in paris or at least france again.
While i dont regret it, ive been here for two years now and settled enough for it to be not feasible for me right now, especially since the cost of living is half what it could be in paris. I have friends, a beatufiul flat, a lovely partner (who im trying to get to move to paris too, but its not easy ahaha), but i know its going to be only a couple more years here until i cant live here anymore
luckily i am close enough to travel there to get the best of my city and the best of france.
also op, vitamin d and mg multivitamins are so important in the winter, especially if you are a woman. that could greatly help you feel much better during the winter.
Also an expat and have faced similar guilt of wanting to give up and still do multiple times. All the same reasons - missing family and friends + seasonal depression on one hand however also wanting better paid opportunities and lifestyle overall. So wanted to say - you aren’t alone :)
To be honest, there isn’t a right answer and thank god for that. I feel whichever place you choose home or abroad, the mind always finds reasons to justify it and also regret it. It is never ideal or perfect.
Which is why there is absolutely no problem in deciding to go back home after trying everything. It isn’t giving up, it’s choosing family, friends, warmth, most importantly your mental health and so on so forth. On the aspect of losing the opportunity to go abroad - you decision to go back home need not be permanent and am sure opportunities will come again! Good luck!
I am going through something similar after moving to a country I’d really been looking forward to for a long time. I have however given it longer than 10 months, we even got a mortgage here and are currently renovating our first home, but on the whole, it just isn’t the place for us, so we will eventually move again, and decide what happens with the house then, but that’s another story. I have lived in quite a few countries other than my own, for about 2-3 years each country and I have easily adapted to, and felt better in every single one of these countries than where I currently am. But I’ve also been back home in between some of these moves and I inevitably get reminded of the reasons that made me leave in the first place. I guess this just goes to say that, you can both give it some more time, and consider other options than that of going back home, idk, it’s just a thought…
Wishing you luck !
Very relatable, as a Canadian living in the US, that too only 5 hours away from my former home that I didn’t sell, friends and family, I am counting my days when I could go back home although I am making considerably more money, well settled, sought after by companies, and even few new friends. It’s normal to feel that way.
Its normal, we are all human, and we can’t know so many complex feelings/responses in advance.
Don’t consider it as giving up, consider it as just a bad match between the environment and yourself…
No. But then I mostly lived in countries I liked - and had chosen. Didn’t hesitate leaving Afghanistan after 3.5 years after the mob lynched some humanitarian aid worker colleagues.
I completely feel this way too. I’ve lived in Amsterdam for nearly 2 years and just feel like I can’t feel at ease here. But I don’t want to give up my good job opportunity. I understand what you’re going through. I think if your mental health requires you to go home there’s nothing wrong with that.
It is normal to regret it. I regret moving to my new country. I suggest seeing a therapist to talk this over before you move and see if you can spend time seeing the parts of your new country thst interest you. The part I have found challenging is that I do feel like a failure for trying to make the new life work but have to come to terms with that