And does the SF ever go away?

      • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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        23 days ago

        Yeah it would basically be an anti addiction approach for me. Addiction runs in my family and we get addicted to everything remotely pleasurable. So I’ve spent my whole life saying no to alcohol & drugs & cigarettes, and since I cant find a suitable companion I have to say no to orgasms too 🤷🏼‍♀️ For me it feels empowering.

    • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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      23 days ago

      Well I’m a woman and I’ve talked to some men too who agree that when we masturbate it tends to make us turn socially inward & diminishes our drive to reach out to other people.

      Whereas sexual frustration compels us to go out into the world with a sense of hunger & ambition, seeking social interaction & activities.

      It’s the lifestyle I’ve chosen because after years of suffering all aspects of this mortal hell we call life, I’d rather feel paragraph 2 than paragraph 1.

      • andyburke@fedia.io
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        23 days ago

        This view seems, to me, to be really sex-focused in kind of a creepy way that … if you ask me, might have something to do with denying basic urges.

        You can go out into the world looking for connections that are not sexual.

        • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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          23 days ago

          Without sexual release we’re a bit voracious & on edge but also at peak creativity & ambition; driving us to go out in the world and get shit done. Invent things. Create things. Meet new people with no ulterior motives, already living a wholesome life, and that’s how we can meet people the real way without our hands constantly down our own pants.

          • andyburke@fedia.io
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            23 days ago

            What evidence are you basing the idea that your drive comes from your libido? There are a lot of people out there with low or no libidos who have accomplished a ton.

            Why are you focusing on libido as the source of creativity to the exclusion of a lot of other potential drivers?

            This is what I am saying: the focus seems odd and creepy without lots of evidence for your reasoning.

          • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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            22 days ago

            I’m a man so maybe it’s different but having tried both, that certainly isn’t the case for me. Without sexual release I just want to cum. It doesn’t inspire me to do anything else that won’t move me towards that goal. Maybe if masturbation were impossible it would be a different story but as it stands the only purpose being frustrated serves is to distract me from non-sexual tasks. Being lonely on the other hand does inspire me to go out and do things and maintain relationships but it’s not for sex. If I’m frustrated in that regard I’d rather just stay home and jerk off. That’s a sure thing rather than the incredibly low chance I’ll meet someone that wants to fuck me right away.