And does the SF ever go away?
I’ll first state that I am NOT the normal outcome but I think it might be interesting for others to see my situation.
I am transfem (male-to-female) and am on Estrogen injections and Progesterone pills. I’m not on any testosterone blockers as my natural testosterone production is literally 1/10th the average male testosterone levels (56 without HRT, 18 on HRT. Minimum acceptable level is ≥250). I am also on antidepressants, and 2 anti anxiety medications. All of these combine to me having essentially no labido at all.
I would call myself asexual but if I find a partner I might want to do it sometimes, but idk since I’ve never had a partner because I really don’t have any natural drive to get one like others do 😅
I only had 1 crush throughout my entire teenage years, but on HRT I am falling for people a LOT more now lolOn estrogen you don’t get ‘morning wood’ like mens bodies do, which is a natural thing your body does to prevent the damage/shrinking to tissue in the penis. So instead you have to manually get an erection at least once a week, but this is difficult for me as I have no drive to. I have casually gone 2.5 weeks without doing it just because I really didn’t want to, and have experienced the repercussions of it.
I would say there’s some really slight tension for the first week but then absolutely nothing 🤷♀️
I feel like this meme portrays my attraction type more than anything sexual
Thank you for sharing your experience. It seems based on your numbers and pre-transition experience, you were always genetically meant to be a woman, low testosterone & low libido just like so many of us!
That cartoon, yeah whenever I’m in a relationship I always end up feeling like the girl in pink. I’m so clingy & obsessed. But when I’m alone I’m stronger getting shit done & being independent & responsible, because there’s no other choice, gotta survive, but so lonely.
I know it’s not what you asked, OP, but NoFap is a purity cult. Cross reference the mods from r/nofap and you’ll find heavy correlation with religious sub’s.
Despite claims for helping porn/sex addicts, their intent is to get their foot in the door.
If you want to live a life of NoFap for reasons you decide for yourself, fine, but don’t do it to gain any of the benefits those twats claim.
Worst case scenario is you get prostate cancer.
My apologizing for not understanding that it’s a cult. All I know is what it means to me is “making a personal decision to refrain from masturbation because I feel energetically stronger when I save that energy for [whatever/whoever].”
You do you, if you feel energetically stronger, that’s almost certainly due to your personality.
Research has been done to discern whether athletes should refrain from sex before sports. The results showed that there was no meaningful performance difference in clarity, concentration, or energy levels.
And by the sounds of the olympics, good luck getting the athletes from around the world that you put in one place to stop finding other athletes attractive XD
I don’t understand the idea of not fapping.
Personally, I think “NoFap” is bro-science with little basis in anything even remotely factual.
As someone who was single (and a virgin, to apply a social construct) well into my 30s, I can totally relate to the emotional burden that loneliness, sexual frustration, social isolation, and all of the self-negative thoughts that come from feeling broken and unlovable. I get it, I really do!
To say that “it sucks” is an understatement, and I truly understand how feeling those kinds of feelings can make some “incel” guys lash out and be angry at themselves, women, or society at large. That’s not an attempt to excuse bad behavior, of course, but only to say that I understand the emotional context that too often breeds it.
I genuinely believe that loneliness really is an epidemic, for men and women alike, in both friendship and romance, and when you combine that with a modern political climate that seeks profit and power from fostering culture wars and driving wedges between regular people, it’s not hard to understand how we have become conditioned to hate ourselves and each other.
Undoubtedly, there is a serious problem with modern culture and proprietary app-driven socialization.
But here’s the key point: I really don’t think depriving yourself of sexual pleasure is going to make you less lonely, less isolated, less self-negative, or even more motivated to meet others.
Self-control can be a virtue, sure. There is certainly value in being able to resist instant gratification and controlling one’s urges…
But choosing to live a “life of NoFap” isn’t going to do anything to address the core reasons why you feel lonely or isolated in the first place. All you are really doing, in my view, is kicking yourself while you’re down–punishing yourself for being lonely, when you should instead be practicing self-care. You’re not addressing your problems, you’re adding to them.
Companionship, romance, and sex are different things, crucially. Ideally we would have them all, but you can have one without the others. So, with that in mind, why on Earth should a person deprive themselves of sexual pleasure just because they are lacking in romance or companionship?
The unspoken and unappreciated truth is that you don’t, and shouldn’t, need to be in a relationship to have a satisfying “sex life”. And likewise, people who aren’t in a relationship shouldn’t feel the need to deprive themselves of sexual pleasure due to some false idea that somehow being sexually frustrated will make you more motivated, attractive and likable.
If you really want to build relationships and have sex, start touching grass, getting to know people, and going out on dates. Shower, shave, wear clean clothes and deodorant, brush up on current events and take up some hobbies. Don’t just look for “girlfriends”, make friends and grow your social circle in general. If you have to ignore the superficial bullshit dating apps and meet people in other ways, then good, more power to you. But that’s really all it takes.
I did it for a little over a month once just to see what it was like. There weren’t really any effects beyond just being horny all the time. It was basically like being a teenager in high school again. Other than that nothing changed. I didn’t experience any of the benefits you see people talking about. I probably had more trouble focusing on work but that’s hard to tell because that’s always been a problem.
Personally I find being horny incredibly distracting. It’s so hard to focus on anything and makes interacting with people you could theoretically “mate” with much more difficult because my mind is constantly preoccupied with “would. I wonder if they’d be interested.” Really annoying.
I’d imagine this is how you turn yourself into a psycho killer.
Qu’est-ce que c’est ?
Fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa
Fa fa fa fa
Sorry I haven’t taken Latin since high school
It’s a little odd calling them a “mate” in this context. There’s nothing wrong with masterbation. If you think porn is had and don’t wanna watch it, that’s fine, but genuinely there is absolutely nothing wrong with masterbation. I think a lot of people take folks’ negative feelings about porn and twist them into negative feelings about self pleasure and try to get people to believe that living some “pure” life where you don’t touch yourself is inherently better than the alternative or something. It’s really not.
Sex is a big part of life. There’s no reason you can’t do it alone. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t do it alone. Go enjoy yourself. Have some me time. It’s not something to feel guilty about.
Tell that to the religious that are being taught every day that they’ll go to hell for touching their peepee because God always watches them, always judges them
desperate/suffering people are easier to control, i assume that is the main reason for this kind of stuff in religion especially since it has no basis in the original message.
The “original message” was also only about control, like every other religion out there
no, i think its about there being something better than all… * this *. And how to be better and maybe get out of here after you die. Though I think it servers only as a general guide and you are supposed to find your own way.
Then at some point priests noticed how they can use religion to their own ends and they started twisting it and inventing more stuff and now here we are.
I have a friend who was in that situation. After a while he just started jerking it again. Not watching so much porn and not jerking it every day is probably good for you, but going no fap is just gonna give you wet dreams to clean up and won’t actually solve any problems.
The whole “rarely find a mate” thing is first of all a really weird phrasing and secondly is a solvable problem. That manosphere crap is a learned helplessness grift. Lower your standards a bit, get some hobbies, go socialize. As long as you respect people, you’ll find plenty of people willing to give you a chance.
Your balls will explode!
I’m a woman.
Chesticles will explode
In that case, your balls probably won’t explode then.
You’re asking a bunch of chronically online lemmy nerds what they think of masturbation. So if you’re looking for an impartial response then you’ve come to the wrong place.
🤣 You’re not wrong.
Sounds like a categorically terrible idea. Is there any ackshuall proof having 1 orgasm per day (regardless of the outlet or method) is harmful in any measurable/quantifiable way besides reducing desperation for sex?
Actually helps prevent prostate cancer in men, idk about women’s hard data physical effects.
I sincerely dont and cant understand no-fap outside of an addiction 12-steps/abstinence style vantage point.
It’s extremely dumb and only ever pushed by grifters, usually manosphere type losers.
Yeah it would basically be an anti addiction approach for me. Addiction runs in my family and we get addicted to everything remotely pleasurable. So I’ve spent my whole life saying no to alcohol & drugs & cigarettes, and since I cant find a suitable companion I have to say no to orgasms too 🤷🏼♀️ For me it feels empowering.
Well I’m a woman and I’ve talked to some men too who agree that when we masturbate it tends to make us turn socially inward & diminishes our drive to reach out to other people.
Whereas sexual frustration compels us to go out into the world with a sense of hunger & ambition, seeking social interaction & activities.
It’s the lifestyle I’ve chosen because after years of suffering all aspects of this mortal hell we call life, I’d rather feel paragraph 2 than paragraph 1.
This view seems, to me, to be really sex-focused in kind of a creepy way that … if you ask me, might have something to do with denying basic urges.
You can go out into the world looking for connections that are not sexual.
Without sexual release we’re a bit voracious & on edge but also at peak creativity & ambition; driving us to go out in the world and get shit done. Invent things. Create things. Meet new people with no ulterior motives, already living a wholesome life, and that’s how we can meet people the real way without our hands constantly down our own pants.
I’m a man so maybe it’s different but having tried both, that certainly isn’t the case for me. Without sexual release I just want to cum. It doesn’t inspire me to do anything else that won’t move me towards that goal. Maybe if masturbation were impossible it would be a different story but as it stands the only purpose being frustrated serves is to distract me from non-sexual tasks. Being lonely on the other hand does inspire me to go out and do things and maintain relationships but it’s not for sex. If I’m frustrated in that regard I’d rather just stay home and jerk off. That’s a sure thing rather than the incredibly low chance I’ll meet someone that wants to fuck me right away.
What evidence are you basing the idea that your drive comes from your libido? There are a lot of people out there with low or no libidos who have accomplished a ton.
Why are you focusing on libido as the source of creativity to the exclusion of a lot of other potential drivers?
This is what I am saying: the focus seems odd and creepy without lots of evidence for your reasoning.
I’m a woman to start.
There’s two modes I’ve found myself in when not masturbating - I’m either purposefully staying aroused and denying an orgasm to heighten sexual tension and pleasure OR I’m not masturbating because life is busy for whatever reason and my libido diminishes over time.
So it depends. And I think everyone is a little different as well, so you might want to play with not masturbating to reduce sexual frustration to see if it works for you.
