For one thing you are recognizing effort in others and thats genuine, you probably don’t want anything from them either. You don’t want to appear to be fishing for reciprocal compliments. You are doing “work” even if it is part of your practices and how you conduct yourself. Nothing wrong with trying to be kind, maybe you can see how it is different than what happens when you are in a conversation with a friend and acting naturally.
Its not possible to genuinely compliment a stranger without putting in a lot of effort, which is creepy.
I don’t put much effort into complimenting people. I notice something that’s outside the norm and observe it. If I don’t like it I don’t compliment it, but I don’t think one needs to know a person to acknowledge something one likes. It can easily drift into “creepy” territory, I agree with you there, so I avoid certain topics - that’s also why I try to only say things in passing. Most of them are probably obvious, but one that caught me off guard is that “boots” can sound like “boobs.” Much as I’m a fan of those, I’ve learned to say “shoes” these days.
And
Compliments should be for your friends and family
I strongly disagree. This is what inspired me to respond. Compliments should be for anyone you can respectfully flatter. There are compliments that should only be for your friends or family for sure. I try to regularly remind my wife of the things I love about her, but I wouldn’t say those things to a stranger. It does come down to a matter of subjective judgment, though.
For one thing you are recognizing effort in others and thats genuine, you probably don’t want anything from them either. You don’t want to appear to be fishing for reciprocal compliments. You are doing “work” even if it is part of your practices and how you conduct yourself. Nothing wrong with trying to be kind, maybe you can see how it is different than what happens when you are in a conversation with a friend and acting naturally.
I meant only to challenge two things you said:
I don’t put much effort into complimenting people. I notice something that’s outside the norm and observe it. If I don’t like it I don’t compliment it, but I don’t think one needs to know a person to acknowledge something one likes. It can easily drift into “creepy” territory, I agree with you there, so I avoid certain topics - that’s also why I try to only say things in passing. Most of them are probably obvious, but one that caught me off guard is that “boots” can sound like “boobs.” Much as I’m a fan of those, I’ve learned to say “shoes” these days.
And
I strongly disagree. This is what inspired me to respond. Compliments should be for anyone you can respectfully flatter. There are compliments that should only be for your friends or family for sure. I try to regularly remind my wife of the things I love about her, but I wouldn’t say those things to a stranger. It does come down to a matter of subjective judgment, though.