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HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 4 days ago

New version of the D in the DENNIS system, DoorDash

lemmy.dbzer0.com

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New version of the D in the DENNIS system, DoorDash

lemmy.dbzer0.com

HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 4 days ago
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  • I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    What is the charge? Sending a lemon? A single, succulent lemon?

    • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      I think it was for stalking:

      Delivery instructions varied:

      “Hand it to him directly”
      “He will know”
      “Tell him she remembers”
      
      14 arrived at exactly 11:47 p.m.
      One arrived during his job interview.
      One arrived at a hospital while he was visiting his father.
      

      https://jobbiecrew.com/doordash-psychological-warfare/

      Edit: FAKE, as found below.

      • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Just an FYI, this random content mill doesn’t cite any sources. This has been circulating on Facebook, Instagram, etc. and claims specifically 241 days. I tried finding it, and it’s fortunately just satire. No actual news organizations have covered this, there are no court records, and the most you’ll find are random content mills regurgitating Facebook memes.

        (Edit: But it is surprisingly creative.)

        (Edit 2: And 1847 lemons over 241 days implies 7.5 lemons daily within the fiction of the meme.)

        • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
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          4 days ago

          Thanks for finding that and it is pretty creative, lol. Here is something else she did:

          26-YEAR-OLD WOMAN PLEADS GUILTY IN MANITOBA’S FIRST-EVER ‘AGGRESSIVE CAROLING’ CASE — STOOD OUTSIDE HER EX-BOYFRIEND’S HOUSE EVERY NIGHT IN DECEMBER — SANG ONLY ‘LAST CHRISTMAS’ — FOR 14 NIGHTS

          https://www.instagram.com/p/DX1zhj4mlCm/

          • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            4 days ago

            She sounds like a real go-getter!

          • Banana@sh.itjust.works
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            4 days ago

            I’ve heard mentioning Manitoba in your fake meme makes it seem believable

        • BurgerBaron@quokk.au
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          4 days ago

          If you think about it for 3 seconds the story falls apart yeah. That’s no fun. Door Dash would blacklist as soon as the ex complained.

          But if nobody complained and the lemons are getting paid for, I wonder if anyone would try to stop you doing this 7.5 times a day and how long it’d take.

          • N0t_5ure@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            But if nobody complained and the lemons are getting paid for, I wonder if anyone would try to stop you doing this 7.5 times a day and how long it’d take.

            If you’re looking for government or police intervention, the answer is that it would never happen. They don’t give a shit. I was subjected to actual stalking and harassment for an extended period of time (years) from my ex and people affiliated with her, and the police were absolutely worthless.

            • Peppycito@sh.itjust.works
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              4 days ago

              You should try having more money. Generally, the police help people with lots of money.

          • optimisticturtle@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            She would be eaten alive in service fees, fees for not hitting the minimal spending threshold, tip, etc.

            In fact, I just tried and one 89c lemon came out to $12.80

          • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world
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            Yeah, the meme tries to dress it up as her having used 11 spoof accounts, but it misses the obvious point that they’d just block the address/that specific one-lemon order altogether.

            I was willing to give this the slightest bit of credibility to try looking it up until the meme started elaborating on numbers and nailed the coffin shut.

          • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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            4 days ago

            It would also be insanely expensive. Also usually you would order something like this from instacart. Most restaurants don’t have a single lemon menu option. Though I mow they’ve been expanding into offering services to other areas, to get in on instacart style action. (Personally I would never trust a dasher to shop like an ic shopper.)

            • Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              3 days ago

              20 to 40 thousand dollars I think

            • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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              4 days ago

              Hello, I’d like to subscribe to lemons. Ultra diamond level with the find me anywhere option.

      • wander1236@sh.itjust.works
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        4 days ago

        The biggest indication of it being fake is any sort of consistent arrival time. That just doesn’t make sense for any courier or delivery service

      • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 days ago

        11:47pm is 40 minutes later than the time of day John Lennon died on the 8th of December 1980!

        Coincidence? I think so!

        • Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip
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          4 days ago

          John Lemon is a door Dasher, confirmed!

    • waterSticksToMyBalls@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Gentlemen, this is delivery manifest!

      • suxen_tsihcrana@anarchist.nexus
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        4 days ago

        Can confirm:

        DELIVERY MANIFEST
        +---------------+
        | QTY | ITEM |
        +---------------+
        | 1 | LEMON |
        +---------------+

      • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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        4 days ago

        I see you know your judo well.

    • bedwyr@piefed.ca
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      4 days ago

      I would love to receive fresh lemons all the time.

      • tomiant@piefed.social
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        4 days ago

        They have an app for that!

  • picnic@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 days ago

    I can fix her

    • Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Fix? What more can a man want than 1,847 lemons?

  • Sharkticon@lemmy.zip
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    3 days ago

    Literally what is the crime, though?

    • Clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works
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      3 days ago

      Door dashing a lemon!? A succulent yellow lemon!?

    • PrimeErective@startrek.website
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      3 days ago

      deleted by creator

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    4 days ago

    How many lemons can I door dash someone before it becomes a crime? 🤔

    • Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip
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      4 days ago

      Sounds like 1,846

  • Pommes_für_dein_Balg@feddit.org
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    4 days ago

    When life gives you lemons, arrest life.

    • [deleted]@piefed.world
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      4 days ago

      Life gave humans citrons and bitter oranges and we used them to make lemons.

      • Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip
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        4 days ago

        What if you’re allergic to citrus? When life gives you lemons, swell up and die

  • Zacryon@feddit.org
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    4 days ago

    The important question is, whether the ex made lemonade.

    • kralizec@feddit.nl
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      3 days ago

      that, or invented combustible lemons…

  • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Someone’s still sour about it!

  • jaaake@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Can anyone find a legitimate source for this?

    Everything I can find all points back to a Facebook posting on a page called “Memezar,” which doesn’t cite any sources or contain any details that would help in a search.

    • A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip
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      deleted by creator

      • jaaake@lemmy.world
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        I also found those.

        The image in the article has a watermark from Memezar, has all of the same text from the Memezar Facebook post, except that it has named the woman. Searching for a woman of that name in Toronto doesn’t match up with the image in the article.

        The YouTube video doesn’t offer any new details or cite source, but it repeats some of the details from the Memezar Facebook post.

      • bss03@infosec.pub
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        4 days ago

        I believe it is fake (or satire): https://lemmy.world/comment/24087259

        Ping: @jaaake@lemmy.world

  • Gork@sopuli.xyz
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    I see nothing wrong here. Just a girl enjoying her lemon party 1847 times.

    • Flyswat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      What’s a lemon party?

      • Gork@sopuli.xyz
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        Something you probably shouldn’t Google if you’re still at work

        • cockmushroom@reddthat.com
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          3 days ago

          Speak for yourself

  • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    When ex-wife sends you lemons…

  • cockmushroom@reddthat.com
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    This is fake news

  • tomiant@piefed.social
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    When life gives you lemons, shut up and eat your lemons.

  • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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    I wish someone cared about me not getting scurvy this much

    • A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip
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      I wonder if it was bizarre enough for the ex to know exactly who this is coming from, or if it was bizarre enough to make him freak out.

      edit: apparently the latter

  • village604@adultswim.fan
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    That’s like $3600, minimum

    • nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca
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      Yeah but she paid right?

      • village604@adultswim.fan
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        She did. I just feel you get diminishing returns after the first several hundred lemons.

        • A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip
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          She probably bought them in bulk. They keep a long time in the cold.

          • Janx@piefed.social
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            3 days ago

            What? She used DoorDash.

          • village604@adultswim.fan
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            She sent him orders of exactly one lemon, though.

            • A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip
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              That’s what I meant: that will cost less if you buy them in bulk, then use them one by one.

              Premeditated harassment!

              Granted, 241 days is a long time. Maybe 2 bulks then.

              I am, of course, entirely serious about this.

              • suxen_tsihcrana@anarchist.nexus
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                She used doordash though. I’m pretty sure you can’t send your own pre-bought lemons using doordash.

                • A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip
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                  Oh. This shows my ignorance! I never use such services.

    • kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Delivery fees alone are probably $10k+.

      • village604@adultswim.fan
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        I did a conservative estimate based on Doordash’s lowest at $1.99

  • eareetator@lemmy.world
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    Was it at regular intervals? Like one every two days or only on weekends? That’s a fresh lemon for a nice tequila guaranteed

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