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We’re gonna point out that Seagal is fat, lazy, and pathetic, but not his history of owning human slaves, killing dogs with a tank during his time as a cop, or mafia ties?
We’re an equal opportunity educational environment here. Enlighten us to the other ways he’s a shitbag!
Alright let’s see what I can remember! Most of this is pulled from the Behind the Bastards podcast episode on him (great podcast about terrible people) and the rest is supplemented from wikipedia to refresh my memory.
It’s worth noting that, possibly due to Seagal’s mob ties, a lot of folks who have come to court with credible accusations have subsequently mysteriously withdrawn their accusations or otherwise failed to finalize their court cases.
First off, bro wants to fuck any woman he thinks he can lay hands on and has had consistent credible sexual assault accusations against him his entire career. Particularly noteworthy is that he worked REALLY HARD to try and get Ray Charles’ granddaughter alone in a room with him during an impromptu casting event at his home after meeting her at Ray’s funeral. Her dad, Ray jr, tagged along and prevented this initially, but she was hired as his assistant, and walked on day one after he explained what kind of “massages” he expected. This habit of sexual assault also applies to minors, to whom he has bragged, in adult life, to that it’s fine, because he has girlfriends their age (bro lies about anything and everything he thinks will make him sound good and cool though, so make of this what you will, on multiple levels)
His time as a cop was actually aired as a tv show: Steven Seagal: Lawman. As stated, he drove an army surplus tank through a home. He actually SHOT the 11 month old puppy afterwards, separately from the tank thing, in the same event.
As stated, he got his start through mob ties and, around the turn of the millenium, when he walked out of a mob funded film deal, was sued and threatened by a crime family over it. He subsequently narc’d on them and some arrests were made following his testimony on RICO act charges. Seagal would subsequently settle out of court. Everything I’ve heard about the man makes him sound like a cowardly bitch, so I’m assuming they bled him for millions.
He has a long record of deliberately hitting stunt performers during fight scenes, because of course he does. There is one story of him claiming, baselessly, that thanks to his aikido training he was immune to being choked out (???), so a stuntman indulged him in a bet and subsequently choked him out. I’ve heard a number of similarly amusing anecdotes about the man one might call instant karma on a variety of obviously bullshit lies, many of them involving stolen valor. The dude LOVES to pretend he was black ops, navy seal, whatever sounds good at the time (imagine why he started a film company to keep making movies about him actually being these things into his late age. Dude is a massive LARPer)
Dude owned two human trafficked Russian women for some time, keeping them as sex slaves. Iirc, this occurred during the time he was filming being a cop (it may have been before, one way or another, the accusations didn’t keep him off the force)
Speaking of Russia, dude is a huge fan of Putin (wild how the best people somehow consistently become friends with dictators) and has described him as “one of the great living world leaders” and endorsed invasions of Ukraine. He’s also cozied up to Rodrigo Duterte of the Philippines and Nicolás Maduro of Venezuela
That’s all I can think of at the moment, but it’s been a good use of waking up in the middle of the night wide awake. There’s probably more I’m forgetting, though
Amazing report. I appreciate you using your middle of the night wide awake time to share with us
I’m particularly interested in him owning slaves in this day and age. What the hell happened? Please tell us!
Sex slaves human trafficked from Russia, land of a dictator he openly praises. I did a longer writeup elsewhere in this thread, but most of the details come from the Behind the Bastards podcast episode on him
I just rewatched the cumtown segal rant and I don’t think this clip made it in, but it should have.
Aikido is so fucking stupid.
I don’t think I’d call what’s happening here anything more complicated than the Macarena
The Macarena is a more effective method of self defense than aikido.
This scene makes me irrationally angry. It is truly one of the worst, laziest “just flail your arms at each other” choreographies out there. It’s not the only one of that kind of lazy movie fighting, but this one bothers me extra with how it doubles down on laziness with that chair. The dudes never even try to get close enough to hit the other. Someone like Jackie Chan would have found a way to creatively use that chair and turn it into an interesting concept for a fight that’s enjoyable to watch but that fat fuck is just sitting there doing nothing. That fucking Ponytail Michelin Man. His music makes me wanna pour acid into my ears too.
Jackie chan wishes he has the agility of Steven Segal
I’ve never seen it and I don’t know what it’s from but I assumed it was comedy until I read your comment. Is this scene supposed to be serious?
Unless Steven Seagal has been doing a bit since his career tanked thirty years ago, it’s serious.
Someone like Jackie Chan would have found a way to creatively use that chair
You have to be able to lift the chair
You have to be able to lift FROM the chair
Or stand up from the chair.
there’s a vrchat boxing world that has full body support where foot placement matters a lot.
…or you take 4 ppl and put on avatars that are blind and get them to all flail around the ring for 5 minutes hitting nothing while people outside the ring are all too busy laughing to actually help xD
yeah I get it’s supposed to be like a comedy fight but I’m still just thinking dude why are you aiming your attacks at the part of his body that he’s still able to defend, his shins are right there. (Actually writing that out I wonder if the gif ended too early? Going through that flailing only to briefly pause and then hoof him in the shin at the end would be a classic.)
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I choose to believe that the camera operator was supposed to zoom in so we couldn’t see the chair and either forgot or decided to capture the full goofiness of the set-up.
Call the local dojos. Ask if anyone wants to be in an action film. They need to look Asian and stand about the same height as Steven Seagull sitting down. We’ll pay them in exposure.
Sometimes, I gotta sit up and have good posture to grab something. It’s exhausting.
Have you tried playing VR laying down?
The only time I lay down in VR is Superhot VR, and that’s never relaxing.
Also sorry for linking to the shit site but at least it’s direct.
“What’s going on?!” 😂🤣
“Just fatly going around corners.”
When I was a kid I dreamed about VR RPGs where you’d run around swinging the sword… like 10 minutes of that had me back to using a controller. The real first person point of view is amazing, but It’s plenty realistic enough for me to be controlling it with a gamepad.
itoldaso
