Consider the consequences of associating what you consider a defining moment of your sexual identity with trauma, forever.
Consider then, a mindset where that moment does not define your sexual identity.
In which scenario would you expect to feel better.
What you’re saying is how to deal with an event after it happens, the topic here is how to shape your expectations before the event, to avoid a worse fallout. Regardless of how negative the experience is.
That’s a pretty extraordinary reading of what I said. “A traumatic experience can be real and serious without permanently defining your identity” is almost the opposite of victim blaming.
I haven’t blamed anyone for being traumatised, or suggested they caused their own distress. I’m saying that we don’t need to reinforce the idea that a bad first sexual experience means something fundamental has been permanently lost or changed about them.
You’re determined to collapse “this experience can be traumatic” into “therefore virginity should carry this enormous cultural significance”, but the second simply doesn’t follow from the first, and there’s no good reason to force it to.
You don’t get define whether trauma becomes part of your identity, it is traumatic because it becomes part of your identity whether you want it to or not.
I think thats exactly why this sentiment is being fielded.
It allows a separation from what can easily be a less than pleasant experience that society often puts a lot of pressure on.
That actually makes it worse. Trauma is healed by being acknowledged, not trivialized.
Consider the consequences of associating what you consider a defining moment of your sexual identity with trauma, forever.
Consider then, a mindset where that moment does not define your sexual identity.
In which scenario would you expect to feel better.
What you’re saying is how to deal with an event after it happens, the topic here is how to shape your expectations before the event, to avoid a worse fallout. Regardless of how negative the experience is.
Please don’t go around telling people trauma is a mindset again.
Re-read my last. You’re making a slightly different distinction to uphold this point, and it doesnt really make sense.
Your thinly veiled victim blaming talking points are not as subtle as you think cowboy.
That’s a pretty extraordinary reading of what I said. “A traumatic experience can be real and serious without permanently defining your identity” is almost the opposite of victim blaming.
I haven’t blamed anyone for being traumatised, or suggested they caused their own distress. I’m saying that we don’t need to reinforce the idea that a bad first sexual experience means something fundamental has been permanently lost or changed about them.
You’re determined to collapse “this experience can be traumatic” into “therefore virginity should carry this enormous cultural significance”, but the second simply doesn’t follow from the first, and there’s no good reason to force it to.
No it’s not.
You don’t get define whether trauma becomes part of your identity, it is traumatic because it becomes part of your identity whether you want it to or not.
This is really offensive.
You’re awful.
Again, you’re looking it after the fact, this discussion is about prevention.
Can you not see the distinction?