and in the moments i DO unmask for a while my circle expands exponentially but then i shut down because a Mr. Evil Hitler or two slip through the cracks, traumatize me and then i don’t feel like being social ever again
What a lot of neurotypicals don’t tell you about “getting out of your comfort zone” and “being more social” is that so much of being a social butterfly involves ignoring evil. When you live under a system that rewards and incubates opportunistic and exploitative behavior, trying to be friendly with everyone is just increasing your chances of running into a mini Satan. So often throughout my life have I listened to (likely well-intentioned) suggestions from loved ones to get out of my comfort zone and network just to experience what you’ve described. Having some friends who are very social and outgoing, what I’ve come to realize is that those people often just have a high tolerance for evil. I’ve realized that so long as you are charismatic enough, people can overlook the rot festering underneath the surface. And not only do people tolerate these individuals, but they fucking reward them, literally, just because they have mastered the ability to pass every charisma skill check. Every rancid genocide supporter that I’ve met in person held a position higher than my own. And they weren’t quiet about their support either. They freely offered up this information without being asked. Yet still, people go out of their way to maintain relationships with these people.
I genuinely think introducing young autistic individuals to ML theory would do wonders for their perceived self-worth because that’s what it did for me. When you realize that your environment fosters evil and complacency, you begin to realize that discernment is a rare and valuable virtue which enables you to build a community of decent people. If I had been enlightened to that fact as a child, I would be far more well-adjusted because I would have the same knowledge I have now but without the trauma.
Sorry for the long response, but I related to this so hard I had to switch over to my desktop to comment lol.
Holy shit you just described my first day at kindergarten and every single day in the subsequent 4 decades.
eta: it’s like when our society’s moral framework tells us that we should despise evil and oppose injustice, there’s some nuance we miss in how it’s applied, like real life also has the situations you get in a wrestling match where it’s sometimes fun to cheer for the heel if the babyface is a dork. And IRL, we’re often that dork.
Yes! Wrestling is a very apt analogy here lol. And I’ve witnessed that very thing occur in school with autistic kids who were more “openly autistic” than myself. They would get teased and when they responded people sided with the bullies because they made them laugh.
Something I’ve noticed in my life is that people will easily ignore (or even cheer for) wrongdoings or sociopathic behaviour if the person is funny, good looking or charismatic.
yeah idk why you get side eyed these days when you mention that our current society rewards evil behaviours and psycopaths
Because from a rightist perspective, those things are the good and distribution at state levels are bad, e.g., communism.
Edit: I return to give an example from my personal life. As I’ve aged, the parent with whom I have nominal contact has seemed to pull far right and only abandoned maga when they became too obvious and their own finances took some hits.
While I’m obviously not a mind-reader, I’m less inclined to think they’ve changed so much as that the mask they wore just shifted and changed appearance. When a less-selfish society benefited them, they were for less selfish policies, when more selfish policies benefited them, they were for more selfish policies. In short, they seem to simply be highly self-interested, and any “charity” in which they engage is “proof” they are not selfish, even when they resent it and complain about it.
Also, I’m currently watching. Do they treat me badly for calling these policies what they are because our core values are so misaligned, or because I don’t smile and pretend I’m onboard, to make my own life easier (e.g., get a rich man, get a lucrative job)? And in the end, does it even matter, since neither of us are changing?
Yes, that’s such an important and healing insight to have!
Thank you! Took some time and experience to get to it.
Well put. The bourgeois “psychologists” here just tell introverts to be more social. That’s what they keep telling me too. They can go fuck themselves, they’re part of the system and they uphold it.
Yeah something like that.
“Socialising is great why do I hold back so often?”
(something shit happens)
“Oh that’s why…”
Yeah, I used to do that. But then I stopped after falling out with my great-grandfather over Islam. As much as I love socializing a lot, there are times where I have to isolate myself in a separate room whenever I hear any political discussions, which I think is better than screaming at everyone, energetically speaking.
My cousin’s house is really the only place I can genuinely unmask and not be forced to listen to any reactionary propaganda.
I just have a habit of holding doors open for everyone no matter who they are.
I really like to volunteer a lot because everyone there is usually a kind person. You can be assured that the downtrodden, being less evil, will be easier to talk to. I just worry that I meit be rude on accident.
Common since time immemorial.
I don’t think I’m autistic, but yes, I need to stop that. People just be peopling. It’s staggering how nonchalantly, if not deliberately, toxic people can get.
I used to, its gone now though after I transitioned.
I bend ass over backwards and give everyone what I think they want, even if they’re not asking.
That’s not healthy for you, and I urge you to find a way to be more true to yourself. I get it, it’s difficult. But I want that for you.
In some places being true to yourself is a good way to get killed. But not being true to yourself is also a killer. Man, get me outta here.
🫂
haha. i do that.
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