I have heard from multiple people that eye contact is essential in letting a girl (or guy, I guess) know you’re interested.
But what is the 411 when it comes to said eye contact? Do you keep looking until she does? Do you then keep staring? Or is like looking at the sun? What’s the deal?
That’s the neat part, I don’t.
First you need to approach in a non threatening way. Ideally, by shouting “I am bigger and stronger than you! If I wanted you dead, you’d be by now!”
That way they know you are NOT a threat
If possible, make them feel secure by brandishing a weapon of any kind. That way they know they WILL be safe near you
Ah yes, the pufferfish method.
You won’t get good answers on social cues from Lemmy. You might get good Linux tips though.
Fair enough, what Linux command do you use to make eye contact?
export DISPLAY=:0; xeyes
Bruh just use screen
touch eyesThis is inappropriate on so many levels:
- If there are eyes and you touch them it’s wrong.
- If a person doesn’t have eyes touching where they are isn’t going to be a winning strategy either
- If you touch a file in Linux called eyes and create it people will be very confused
- If there’s already an existing file called eyes that’s disturbing. What? Why?
cat eyesof Sauron [elrond@rivendell ~] runuser -l guest.frodo -c '/home/guest.frodo/ring.sh' cat eyes cat: no such file or directory
How does one patch KDE2 under FreeBSD?
Probably using ports, but it depends on the version.
Linux != FreeBSD
Honestly? By being genuinely interested in a person and not faking anything.
Trying to look a certain way nearly always screams fake and uncanny, just show emotions the way you’re used to!
In her book “How to talk to anyone” Leil Lowndes suggests that when speaking with women it’s best to maintain constant, unbroken eye contact to signal attention and interest. She goes on to note that even when engaged in conversation with multiple people one should act as if their eyes are constantly glued to the woman, only briefly looking away when another person is speaking and behaving as if your eyes are irresistibly drawn back to the woman of interest. She believes this formula is best in male to female conversations and female to female conversation.
By contrast, she notes that when engaged in a male to male conversation, one should regularly break eyecontact as not to be perceived as a threat. However, one should still act as if your eyes are being irresistibly drawn back to theirs.
… I have no idea what Lowndes’s qualifications are and frankly this sounds like a formula written by an alien trying to understand humans but hey maybe theres some merrit to it idk
She goes on to note that even when engaged in conversation with multiple people one should act as if their eyes are constantly glued to the woman, only briefly looking away when another person is speaking and behaving as if your eyes are irresistibly drawn back to the woman of interest.
Honestly, as a woman, if a man started doing this to me in a group I’d be freaked the fuck out
Yep. As if women would never perceive men as a threat based on the same signals men would use to perceive threat.
Men, logical and hunter warrior manly men. Women, attention seekers. Therefore, stare down pretty women to show manly manness.
Alpha bro evo psych is so wild.
I think they mean 1 on 1
Jesus christ dude
She goes on to note that even when engaged in conversation with multiple people one should act as if their eyes are constantly glued to the woman
Okay but where’s the line between “unbroken eye contact to signal attention and interest” and just being a creepy stalker?
Varies with attractiveness.
Can confirm. Have been told I have dangerous eyes.
Gotta follow rules 1 and 2, of course.
Well, I got the impression that the author was mostly hanging out in upper class society. So while she’s asserting that these rules are universally applicable, her frame of reference seemed to be mostly talking to people in situations like fundraisers and galas. I imagine she’s operating on a framework of always having some prior knowledge of the people she’s engaging with.
Kinda sounds like it would be the same kind of thing that brought forth the whole “alpha male” thing.
Almost like sex hormones change the way people act and react
I got that vibe throughout the entire book. It really smelled to me of someone trying to justify their own success when in reality she was probably just born with the right connections.
From my experience, if you make eye contact, look away briefly, then look back. If she’s still looking at you, hold eye contact for a moment and smile. If she likes you, she’ll likely smile back.
If she’s purposely avoiding making eye contact the second time, don’t be a creep, carry on with your day 👌
There’s a very thin line between the longing look of admiration and the cold gaze of a serial killer.
No no no. If she’s purposely avoiding eye contact you have to stare at her with wide open eyes and a big smile.
If she walks away follow her, if she starts running away from you, run after her. She’s telling you to come over.
That’s how you conquer a woman /s
Any advice for autistic people who are uncomfortable with eye contact?
As far as I know I’m not autistic, but hate eye contact and just kinda decided to not worry about it? Eye contact is cultural anyway, and in some countries it’s unusual or rude so I guess I just decided it’s not that important to me. That’s one option!
But for practical advice on improving if that’s what you want to strive for I find it’s easier to practice with someone you’re comfortable with. Looking between their eyes while talking casually. Not like staring, but reminding yourself to look up occasionally during conversation. And increasing the length of time you hold eye contact until it’s uncomfortable and look away. It’ll become more natural to you over time :)
There’s also videos available on YouTube that are for practicing eye contact but I found them creepy. My mistake was probably smoking weed beforehand, so maybe don’t do that!
Best of luck to you!
We are like the least qualified social media to answer this
Well… where do I find the most qualified social media then??
Onlyfans obviously
Alright, I’ll be right back.
Edit: They all just told me to take it off. Very unhelpful.
I love the errors you get and the timing of the errors
lmao!
The idea is that y’all both Exchange a glance long enough to both notice, short enough to not creep each other out. A subtle smile to seal the deal.
Then go say hi to confirm.
If you feel awkward at any point either you suck or the answer is no, that’s where the real skills is at IMHO
The fact that your autocorrect is capitalizing Exchange makes me think you’ve had some bad times.
Behavioral mirroring is often a sign of trust or comfort, and applies to levels of eye contact as well. If someone is subconsciously doing the same things you are doing (e.g. longer and more direct eye contact if you initiate, more or slower blinking, more smiling, more relaxed postures to mirror yours), those are good signs of interest.
The converse is also true. If you are doing a lot of direct eye contact, and it seems like the other person is often looking away or closing up their body (crossed arms or rotating their torso away), that’s a sign to reduce some of those behavioral signals to match.
I’d say there isn’t a “This exact amount” to most things, as people are all different in their preferences, and it’s more about adjusting up and down with someone, in response to their small non-verbal or body language signals. They will likely be doing the same with you. Also, as others have mentioned - you can be more direct with words. If this is something you’re unfamiliar with and there’s someone you trust, you can say directly that you’re uncertain and ask something like “I’m not great at knowing how much eye contact feels correct, could you let me know if you notice too much or too little?”. If they are friendly with you, they’ll also likely be comfortable with the small request.
Also, just to say it - eye contact can mean the general eye area - it doesn’t mean your exact pupil to their exact pupil. I find that if I focus on the literal eye/pupil, then I get strained trying and keep attention on that specific small area. If I focus on the general eye area (nose/forehead/eyebrow/general eye) - they both can’t tell that it’s indirect eye contact and it’s easier to let my body auto pilot focus
It’s literally going to change per person
What do you mean by this, exactly?
Different people are different and therefore feel differently about how eye contact should work. Eye contact isn’t a magical love potion that works the same for everybody.
I’m going to need class 101 on 411 as I’ve no idea what it is
In the US, 411 was/is a phone number you could call for “information”, specifically directory assistance. Many carriers no longer offer it.
411 is number I think they post on high ways when people don’t know where to find what they need in the area.
like this 👀 idk man how am i supposed to show you from here
There’s a song:
“I was looking back to see if she was looking back to see if I was looking back at her”
And also an Islamic proscription against looking twice at a person of opposite sex since it signals interest.
So at least one sort of look that signals interest is the looking again. I also think the kind of sideways look with a smile is good.
Do not go for intense and smoldering. That is some sort of advanced level shit that we civilians cannot manage, it will go wrong.
