Being made in Europe pretty much destroyed the one I tried there
Being so large you can’t bite into it. Over cooked burger meat. Raw onions. Price.
Gentrification
Too many toppings max should be 4 including lettuce and tomato
Soggy buns due to either failed to toast the inner side or having it sitting on the pass/heater for too long. Same applies to the meat side and the salad side achieving temperature equilibrium.
Too much height. If I have to disassemble the burger to put it in my mouth, it is not a burger anymore. It is just a mess then. Instead of two or three (or more!) patties stacked, try a bigger bun and an equally bigger patty. Or even a thinner bun to get the patty to bun ratio to what a triple patty burger would offer.
Not being fully cooked.
Too tall, my mouth can only open so wide and a burger I must struggle to consume is worse than a easier, albeit shittier burger.
Foot fungi.
spoiled burger? ruined burger.
Killing a cow?
Nah we fixed that
Now it’s mayo or those little tiny chopped onions
Somewhat controversially, an egg.
Like, a good, over medium egg? Okay I can do that. I hate a super runny, the yolk blasts you in the face like an unapologetic lover and leaves you to clean yourself up, egg in my burger.
In fact, anything that’s made with your Instagram reel in mind. I don’t want greasy buns, dripping yolks, and sauces pouring out. If you made a good, juicy burger you wouldn’t need all that.
Oh man, do we have different tastes in burgers. Give me that dribbling barbecue, that A1 sauce, that honey mustard, that sunny side up egg, that rare and juicy burger, them pickles.
I want a messy burger, one I gotta wash my hands off after.
I love an egg on a burger, but I philosophically agree with your line of thinking.
Soggy bun.
jack daniels based souce
Being too tall; I shouldn’t have to unhinge my jaw to eat a burger.
After a certain height you’re supposed to eat them with a knife and fork.
Absolutely not. They’re burgers, the whole point is to eat them with your hands.
Same with burritos. Those stupidly large ones they drench in a sauce are no longer a burrito.
adjusts monocle Ok, peasant.
Sorry, the Earl of Sandwich is with us on this one.
Sorry, new answer: “Eating it with a knife and fork.”
5"9
Being $24.
That’s a normal price for a non-fastfood restaurant burger in Switzerland. I’ve seen up $36.
Dang $36, sounds like I’m never visiting Switzerland. I recently had a monk friend living there who told me it was expensive. And Australia isn’t that cheap itself.
I stopped going to my local when the $6.50 burger with the lot went to $9aud. That was for a generic aussie fish n chip shop burger - tomatoe, lettuce, onion, beetroot, egg and meat patty. White bun and tomato sauce.
While not ideal, a $24 dollar burger can be justified. I would be willing to pay $50 for the best burger of my life.
deleted by creator
Mostly false.
I understand that the best things in life cost more than I can reasonably afford because I have experienced beyond my means, I understand that Manhattan is not the same price as a small town with McDonald’s serving the “best” burger, and I know my quality of life is better than most humans on Earth despite me making less than a poverty level in my home country.
You sound bitter because you lack perspective and gratitude in a position of privileged victimhood, unable to relate to having experienced what it is like to experience the pains of starvation with only water to abate, or barely avoid the elements killing you. If I had the $50 to spend on a burger that I knew would be a glorious, but brief, respite from my miserable existence, I wound spend it gladly because edging death really enhances value in ways you can’t fathom from atop a high horse.
deleted by creator
