Wife-sharing seems to have cuckolding almost as a co-requisite. I seek to share and swap my partner as a Dominant kink, having her do kinky stuff for my entertainment and because it merely crossed my mind. I’m not into humiliation, nor is my partner. Yet it seems difficult to find share/swap dynamics without the cuckold aspect.
For those with swap and share kinks, how many find the humiliation aspect appealing or unappealing? And our particular flavor can’t be all that rare, right? Non-cuckold sharing folk, let’s see a show of hands!
This used to actually be fairly normal (at least, within the realm of taboo social sex activities), its where the term ‘swingers’ originally came from, way back in the 50s/60s.
Basically, two hetero couples would just agree to swap partners, and usually have a one on one time, seperately.
… My… grandparents once actually mentioned to me that they did a version of this called a ‘key party’, which I think is actually basically depicted in Mad Men.
Big group meetup, bunch of couples, all the guys put their car keys into a bowl.
Fairly standard 50s/60s grilling and drinking ensues, but the party ends with the wives picking random car keys, and going home with whoever owns that car, then they all make phone calls and get picked up the next day, by roughly midday.
So again, not really the modern, more humiliation /dom / sub oriented aspect of cuckoldry.
Like, technically, sure, all the men involved are cucks in the sense that they’re willingly letting another man fuck their wife, but they weren’t usually present for it, that would have marked you as an extreme weirdo back then… oh right and other part of the deal is you are also fucking someone else’s wife.
So yeah, this used to be a thing, fairly different from the modern conception of cuckoldry.
It wasn’t ‘group sex’, ie, more than 2 people.
It was many pairs, temporarily repairing.
I guess kinda like how dance halls used to work back then, when that was a fairly common social thing to do.
According to “The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers” (Gould, 1999), key clubs originated with WWII pilots, but entered the lexicon as key parties in the 50s and 60s. However, all the academic study is based on secondhand accounts. It’s the kind of thing that leads me to wonder if “key party” was some kind of Urban Dictionary expression with someone making up the term for giggles. The expression entered the lexicon and some people then tried it out, i.e. the vocabulary preceded the social trend.
Non-monogamy does seem to be the human norm, and it’s a bummer there’s so much unnecessary taboo and complexity wrapped up in non-monogamy.
I also fully accept that we’re just not moving in the correct circles for our goals. Working on it!
Ah, that would make more sense with the specific origin of the ‘key party’.
My grandpa used to be fairly important in early Boeing’s middle, then upper management.
He once personally met… well… sort of…
He at one point met with Howard Hughes, but in a bathroom at Boeing Field.
No, not gay stuff: Hughes had flown up from Cali (he was a pilot so he just flew himself around) with a briefcase with… presumably business documents, possibly blueprints, and had instructed Boeing to send somebody to go to that bathroom, at a specific time, and … slide briefcases between stalls, and then leave at seperate times, as if nothing had occured.
… And my grandpa got picked to be Boeing’s man for that.
… Yeah.
So what I’m trying to say is my grandpa was in the Navy, was fairly important to early Boeing… knew a lot fly boys and people generally in aviation.
Makes sense he’d go their key parties, lol.
Like me, (though he would not have realized it), grandpa was autistic as fuck, quite often very blunt, quite often not really caring about many social norms.
Like, he told us all about the key party thing as casual conversation over a big family Easter dinner.
When I was maybe… 10? 11?
He genuienly did not think it was that innapropriate, figured I was old enough at that point.
I’ve never seen my Nana blush more than that dinner. She practically hissed at him.
… He is also the reason that elsewhere on lemmy, I have gotten angry at various academic definitions for 40s/50s era slang terms…
Not only because I can find examples in extant texts and argue my different usages … but because I was quite enamored with WW2 history as a young kid, and my grandpa was happy to tell me about the era, as he managed to not get PTSD, … I’d just ask him about various slang terms I was reading about in old newspapers and interviews, propoganda reels and such.
He was a land station based radio operator for the Navy… he basically just lived in Hawaii in near total safety for the whole war, him and Nana would frequently winter there, untill she passed away, at least.
I love when old(er) folk have great adventures and anecdotes to share. And proceed to share them.
That qualification gave me a good chuckle. Thanks, cheers, and enjoy your holiday!