They said early on in this season that she lived in India for a year before deciding to move there permanently to be with TJ. Did people not see where she said that the things she chose for the apartment construction were not what she picked out before she left? Why is everyone saying she should have researched the culture? I’m pretty sure living there for a year can equal to doing some research on the internet.
Because people don’t understand that relationships with cultural differences are more difficult than just doing your research will fix. You will always be working through cultural differences throughout your whole relationship. That’s how it is and no amount of research will fix it.
Very true. You can be in an established intercultural relationship for many years, and you’ll still get ugly shocks. Things don’t come up until they have to, and you find out each side has drastically different expectations and beliefs, and each side fully believes their way is normal and assumed that the other side knew.
The things she has chosen may not be possible in the particular case. When one is on a budget and craftsmen are limited, a compromise must be made.
That, that she lived there and doesn’t understand the culture and has unrealistic expectations is no excuse - quite the opposite.
But if she isn’t making friends or picking up the language and living in her own place, it’s like being in a bubble.
I mean, she does have that experience more than me, but unless she interacts and builds community there, she’s not really experiencing it.
My son is saving to move to India now, and they are very community centered. My son is making friends online now, and he is even learning about the temples he wants to go to.
There are more Americanized apartments and areas for tourists that she might have stayed in. I know my son is hoping to stay near other Americans but also trying to integrate into the local society
That sounds exciting for your son. I hope he can have amazing memories of such an adventure for the rest of his life
Let’s not judge Kimberly based on what your son is doing now in preparation. Kimberly also prepped. She lived there for crying out loud! She’s living in a toxic family dynamic. I’m Indian and I cringe!
I live in Brampton and most of the ladies in my condo building are embarrassed
This excites me for your son.
His culture for his families values according to other subs from Indian sources. I have said that TJ’s culture was very backwards and it was also said that there was no way she would’ve known unless he would’ve told her directly cause they don’t practice like most modern Indian families to that extreme, he also said at the beginning of the show that he’s not telling her the truth because she would not have married him.
Yeah- idk what you’d be googling or reading about that would prepare you for living with someone who A.) lied or at the very least withheld important information and B.) doesn’t follow the average cultural “norm” even if you know it’s one of the most conservative regions of an extremely diverse country.
?
But his family isn’t culturally abnormal at all. Anyone whose lived in India telling you otherwise is… well apparently pampered in a tier I city.
Exactly!!! It’s not so cut and dry
Agreed he lied to her but also she is insane
I’ve never smelled cow poop in any Indian restaurants I’ve been too.
That was beyond disgusting.
Exactly!!!
Yes‼️. I never understood the hate everyone has for her. None of us are perfect. It was unacceptable the way he lied to her
Same. Completely unsure why they’re so tough on her for being frustrated and having emotions but let him get off Scot free
The dislike people have for Kim stems from her immature and over-the-top reactions to things
You can still be upset, but express yourself in a calm way, so that the conversation doesn’t get derailed, and the issue can be resolved
She just screams and acts totally unbalanced
She had choice, and the freedom to leave. She caught TJ in lies before the wedding, she stayed at the house before the wedding and saw how they lived, she knew what the expectations would be for her before the wedding, because TJ’s crazy brother told her. Instead of leaving she chose to stay, and then was hostile that they weren’t accommodating to her culture. She made herself out to be a victim when she had absolutely unrealistic expectations of the entire family, and she had all the power to protect herself by leaving.
She did leave
Finally, after looking crazed. Given that she claims to be clairvoyant, it was not soon enough.
And they’re also not giving her any room for her own traditions and culture. The wedding had to be 100% what they wanted. The household has to be exactly what they want. Imagine if an American did that to a foreign spouse who immigrated to the US?
And she said she paid $10,000 towards that wedding, and that it was half the cost.
I thought in India they still used dowry system?
It’s “illegal”.
So, no selling of daughter for 3 goats and a cow anymore? I’m not being snarky. I thought thats how things go.
It happens all the time in the US.
We would never hear the end of it
I feel like there was an example of that, but I have NO idea whom.
Oooh maybe it was teen Evelyn? She kept saying that they were getting married in America so they had to do it the American way
this was a point of contention I had with my husband for a while! I respect his family and his culture, but I need my cultural norms to be respected as well, there has tk be a balance regardless of where you are living.
Exactly. Partners need to agree on how they want things to be. Parents, families can be difficult. Too bad. They have to deal with the wishes of the couple.
I’m certain it would not go over well. Some insist their culture should be accepted worldwide and everyone should honor it. There should be a compromise if couples want to stay together. I also say this to Americans. You can’t go to a country and turn their family into chaos cause they don’t like an onion.
What’s weird about it? The adult sons sleep in bed with their mother and the dad sleeps on the floor in the living room over a disagreement that no one has ever discussed. Seems chill to me. 🤣
I mean I lived in India for a year and married an Indian—I would have noped the fuck out of TJ’s family in like 48-hours.
That is what I find so annoying about Kim. She did live with the family and saw how they were, she knew there were times TJ lied to her, but instead of getting the fuck out of there, she he insisted TJ’s family should conform to her. That just struck me as so unreasonable of her.
I wouldn’t accept their lifestyle either, but she knows them - she had countless opportunities to leave. Her fiance left her before the wedding and she begged him to take her back…
Fair. TLC absolutely stands for Terrible Life Choices.
But he wasn’t up front of being a wife. Had she known they clean with poop and urine, she may not have pursued a relationship with him.
It’s not a family secret - it’s something they do (probably did it on purpose to shock her).
Jenny also reacted badly when Sumit let a cow into the house. Who can list to her all the customs in the country - they are thousands. And this applies to every single country. There is no manual.
48 hours? That’s generous. After they started burning the cow poo in the kitchen and cleaned the drops of cow poo off the table with the same cloth she wiped the pan, i would have run out so fast… i was sooooo grossed out
I’m a first generation Indian born here in America. Even I would have noped out of TJs family’s house too lol.
One of the many reasons I told my parents a long time ago that I’d never get an arranged marriage like they did.
If they were a normal Indian family they wouldn’t be on TLC.
They are for their state.
I recently watched Love Without Borders (was on aired on Bravo, but you can watch the whole season on Peacock).
If you’ve never heard of it, it’s basically like 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way Around, except they don’t know which country they are going to and they don’t know who they’re matched with.
There’s a Punjabi girl that was born and raised in America that gets matched with someone. She’s the only one out of all the couples whose parents don’t participate in the show. According to her, she was very clearly told that she would bring shame to the family by participating in the show.
THAT’S a normal Indian family lol. That’s exactly what my parents would tell me. You don’t think I get urges to apply for Love Island?? My parents would kill me lol.
The Punjabi girl was over the top. I loved the couple in Ireland. Was there ever a tell all or reunion? Now I need to go back and watch again
That was a good show, some folks had unreal expectations though
I’ve thought this from the start - they have edited her to be this American psycho (which eh, maybe she is) but Jesus god Leah (teen mom saying sorry), I would probably be that overwhelmed too.
She lived there for a while arse year and TJ had no inclination to divulge EXACTLY what living in his household would entail. She thought I’m sure their marriage would be similar to what it was like when she lived there for that year - which makes sense.
I think TJ lied A LOT and was the one who had to change the least, and had the least to lose. I would become a tad psycho too in those circumstances
Jesus God Leah. So Leah is Jesus’s God
Hahaha it’s just a super funny thing that is said on teen mom one episode
I’m also guessing that much in the way of everyone that promised their foreign partner a ton of things, TJ promised that she wouldn’t have to do all the stuff that would be expected of her. He’d somehow magically work it out with the family. Sure. That happened.
TJ’s religion sucksballs not politically correct but true.
All religions are fairy tales created to control people with superstition
Just like the tales of vampires to keeps kids from sneaking out at night
I am so over political correctness. All political correctness does is same the same thing with warm fuzzy words. Just because some words are deemed harsh or hurtful doesn’t make it less true.
Yeah I’m Indian (not Hindu tho like TJ) and she’s completely in the right for losing it imo. It’s a really backwards culture where women are definitely expected to be subservient and should “know their place.” He hid some of that from her - I’d be pissed too.
He’s Jain not Hindu
It is an offshoot of hindu
Doesn’t mean they believe the same things or have the same traditions. I’m literally Jain.
Also it’s called Hinduism, not “Hindu”
I read on another post that he is not Hindu but follows Jainism, which is even more close-minded when it comes to tradition and accepting modern thoughts.
My newly immigrated Indian husband watches some of the stuff they do and is horrified. He’s progressive, a feminist, we are equals, we don’t clean with cow poop, etc.
There is 1.4 billion people in India and hundreds of thousands of “cultures”. No way would she have prepared for this.
Seriously even in Jenny and Summits journey we saw totally different customs. They didn’t burn cow poop like incense but remember when he brought the cow into the house to bless it.
I used to bring my horses into the house so I can’t complain about cows. Lol! My parents were not happy.
I would let a cow in my house, not all the time, but for a visit for sure, especially if they brought good luck.
Jenny and Rishi didn’t clean cow poop either lol
Except she did catch TJ in lies before the wedding, and she did live in the house with the family before the wedding and saw how they were, and experienced how they treated her. Who would put up with that if they had all the freedom in the world to leave?
Also the different castes have different ways of approaching things. My ex’s family and TJ’s were both Brahmin, so they will likely take their religious customs more seriously. My ex’s family used to drink cows urine when they were sick! Even though they were educated and middle-class. My ex was raised with a strict vegetarian diet, no eggs only dairy. They also expected their women to be more subservient, his sister was forced to drop out of her medical degree to marry her first cousin when she was 19. Meanwhile my ex was free to choose when to marry. But my friends who aren’t from the same caste are typically more laid back. One of them even eats beef! And his family were only veggie for the 24 hours before going into a temple. Others I know are also more laid back towards meat and fish. So I think it’s possible with TJ being Brahmin, they may hold onto their religious customs more tightly, it’s possible they have priests in the family. That being said, I think a lot of it is played up for TV like a lot of other things on this show
I feel like that’s true for families that follow the caste system which is an outdated and antiquated practice. My husbands family is semi-traditional but don’t follow any caste related practice.
Exactly people on on Reddit love say so and so should have researched. Researched what when your fiance actively hid the truth. These are the same people that keep saying Brandon needs to learn Tagalog.
Exactly people on on Reddit love say so and so should have researched
No amount of research can prepare you for real life…but since most “people on Reddit” don’t have any real life friends/social interactions or even go outside they will NEVER understand that.
You are on Reddit. So, you have no real life, friends/social interactions and don’t go outside? You said it.
I think Brandan needs to be admitted to a psch hospital. Language isn’t the problem.
Exactly. Sumit is much more progressive . India is a really big place.
Kimberly has a lot of faults, but the culture clash wasn’t her fault. TJ was lying. He straight up said he was lying.
Kim is still a nasty, entitled, bratty person
Thank you! You do not learn about a person and a family from ‘research’. You learn it from conversation. She was deprived of knowing what others were saying, and he lied to her about his family’s expectations.
TJ should done HIS research. He should have listened to her words, should have known who he was marrying!! HE KNEW she did not intend to spend her day cooking and cleaning. He married her knowing her views and intentions, and knowing he would jam that square peg into a round hole after she was stuck.
Amen!! It’s sickening how so many people are trying to blame KIMBERLY for TJ LYING TO HER. Such a misogynistic culture we have, and people don’t even realize when they feed into it.
I don’t blame her for the lies at all. But she can be very annoying. She should learn how to speak on not scream. IMO
She starts by talking, but after 30mins of hearing how she’s wrong and should just do as they do, she explodes. He told her they would have their own lives and not copy his family. He lied. She should make him sleep on the living room floor alone for a week and ask if he wants to continue living like his family.
Yeah I don’t blame her for exploding, even just watching the condensed version of his nonsense.
I’m kinda shocked at how many people on here criticize her reactions. Like… did we watch the same show?
He probably kept her in the headspace of what is beautiful in India, the meditation, beautiful fabrics, palaces. She said,“This is like a fairy tale.”
I still think he wanted a prized, fair-complected, pretty woman he could display as a status symbol. She probably only exhibited the adoring, soft-spoken side of herself that you see at the end of the wedding.
Not the raving banshee side.
Also, her husband should be educating her and he didn’t. Just because she’s the one moving there doesn’t make it only her responsibility.
She could have worked on learning the language, though
That woman has so many issue that even Magnum PI couldn’t solve them
At this point I truly do not care whether she did her research or not. She’s has been acting like a crazy person since the moment she landed. Sure the house he built her wasn’t perfect but did she pay anything to have the things she demanded? Was she there to help with the construction? This is not to mention her screaming as her preferred communication style. This woman is disrespectful and mental.
It wasn’t mentioned if she paid for the construction, but she was part of the planning before she had to return to the US. But she did pay$10,000 towards the wedding, which was half the cost.
