A long time ago, I saw a reddit comment that observed the truth that men rarely get compliments, but when they do it probably means a lot; and women frequently get compliments but they’re usually fairly meaningless because often the comment originates with someone who wants something from them.
I never really thought about it before then, but the part I’ve experienced is true - I am a man, am rarely complimented, and am very grateful when I am. As such, since then, at every opportunity, I’ve complimented strangers - male and female - especially on something that clearly took courage or effort, like a loud shirt or an elaborate hairdo.
I try to do so in situations that make it clear I’m not seeking seeking anything in return, such as when the stranger and I are headed in opposite directions through a store vestibule. Hopefully that lends an air of authenticity to them. I’ve definitely gotten very rewarding responses more than once.
For one thing you are recognizing effort in others and thats genuine, you probably don’t want anything from them either. You don’t want to appear to be fishing for reciprocal compliments. You are doing “work” even if it is part of your practices and how you conduct yourself. Nothing wrong with trying to be kind, maybe you can see how it is different than what happens when you are in a conversation with a friend and acting naturally.
A long time ago, I saw a reddit comment that observed the truth that men rarely get compliments, but when they do it probably means a lot; and women frequently get compliments but they’re usually fairly meaningless because often the comment originates with someone who wants something from them.
I never really thought about it before then, but the part I’ve experienced is true - I am a man, am rarely complimented, and am very grateful when I am. As such, since then, at every opportunity, I’ve complimented strangers - male and female - especially on something that clearly took courage or effort, like a loud shirt or an elaborate hairdo.
I try to do so in situations that make it clear I’m not seeking seeking anything in return, such as when the stranger and I are headed in opposite directions through a store vestibule. Hopefully that lends an air of authenticity to them. I’ve definitely gotten very rewarding responses more than once.
For one thing you are recognizing effort in others and thats genuine, you probably don’t want anything from them either. You don’t want to appear to be fishing for reciprocal compliments. You are doing “work” even if it is part of your practices and how you conduct yourself. Nothing wrong with trying to be kind, maybe you can see how it is different than what happens when you are in a conversation with a friend and acting naturally.