#womeninmalefields is describing common situations and phrases that women experience and turning them upside down by switching genders.
The analogy to this one would be a man telling a surgeon to surgically tighten a woman’s vagina after giving birth. This is a common and disgusting joke.
Common and disgusting, but unfortunately not always a joke. You probably know this but for the benefit of others who may not be aware, the Husband Stitch is a real thing that used to be pretty commonly done regardless of what the woman wanted and often without her foreknowledge or consent. It’s an extra stitch or two placed when sewing a woman back up after a vaginal tear or episiotomy during labor. The purpose is to make the woman “tighter” so her husband can still enjoy having sex with her even though she’s given birth, which is staggeringly misogynistic and cruel. And it usually results in really painful sex for the woman because her vaginal opening is artificially small plus now it has inflexible scar tissue. It’s a horrific thing to do to a woman, especially after giving birth.
Thank you for providing additional information!
still enjoy having sex with her
If you need that to enjoy your partner you don’t deserve them. That disgusting
To add to your “for the benefit of others” explanation, this is also not a historical relic. It’s still happening.
I work with refugees and a lot of women escaping fundie warzones are living with variations of this nightmare. So much mutilation, as little girls, preteens, post-giving-birth… Infections are common, tearing is common, and sex is torture. I’ve been doing this job long enough that I recognize the walk.
Unholy fuckery! This makes me glad to live in country, where to get an operation you need to visit 9001 doctors and get 100500 approvals.
Another thing to note is that the episiotomy itself is no longer a recommended procedure for routine births. The incision lengthens recovery time and brings complications of its own.
Unfortunately, medical violence is a thing and many professionals, even when saying the episiotomy is a decision for the woman, put it in such a way that the message conveyed is that the episiotomy makes giving birth easier and quicker. What is witheld is that it makes it easier for them.
Giving birth was turned into a surgical event, when it is only a phisiological one.
I was under the impression it was forthe woman’s benefit, that it is easier for a cut to heal than a tear. Is that not the case? Is the risk of tearing overblown?
I think you actually have that backward. In general, a jagged tear heals quicker than an incision because there is more surface area in contact between the two pieces, so a larger number of cells can be working to repair the tissue. That said, I’m not a doctor and it’s been 10 years since my wife and I looked into this before our first kid, so I may be misremembering.
It’s not about the surface area, a tear heals without creating a straight line of inflexible scar tissue in flexible tissue. You recover faster and better, because you distribute the new connections throughout the tissue, you don’t have this one rigid perforation to tear, so you don’t have to be healed up all the way before you can get back on your feet
In general, it’s the opposite though - a sharp cut heals much faster than a rip, there’s far less damage to repair
Thanks for the explanation!
You recover faster and better, because you distribute the new connections throughout the tissue, you don’t have this one rigid perforation to tear, so you don’t have to be healed up all the way before you can get back on your feet
Isn’t this a function of the surface area, though?
I mean…sort of? I can’t say that’s wrong, but I also don’t think it’s the full picture
Like imagine a cut rope. Gluing the ends together joins it with a weak point, but if you unravel the ends and weave them back together, you can create a very strong connection, even without glue
Yes, the surface area in the latter is far greater, but in addition to the surface area you have the structure - the weave itself grants strength, because when you pull the rope the fibers compress against each other, making it stronger than just surface area contact
I think it’s kinda like that, surface area certainly plays a big part, but I think it’s more than that. It lets the muscles reweave themselves - as opposed to the skin and the uterus lining, which are cut in straight lines to minimize damaged surface area - they’re more like cloth than rope, you stitch them up in neat lines
Jesus Christ, what kind of sick person comes up with stuff like that?
After the mother gives birth to a healthy baby boy, the father leans to the doctor and whispers “how long until we can have sex?”. The doctor replies, “I clock off at 3.”
I worked for a man that thought it would be a funny thing to say soon after the delivery.
Look, I’m a guy. I laughed, until his (now ex) said that he actually said it.
I mean come on. It’s funny as a joke, you don’t ACTUALLY say that to a delivery nurse, my god.
Yeah, people who act like it could never be funny are insufferable and people who actually do it are psychos.
Men 🤷🏻
Sick people that’s who.
Thanks for explaining it, wouldn’t have understood it otherwise.
Not just a joke. It’s a thing that used to be more common but is still sometimes done.
I had a doctor straight-faced tell an entire class of college students about it, and how it was a good thing. This was within the last 15 years. I would bet it is still far more common we’d want to imagine.
Probably even more dangerous in the back tbh
Circumcision, fgm, the so-called husband stitch… wtf, people? If you’ve got genitals you’re happy with it seems a challenge just to keep them intact against the lunatics who want to chop and stitch. What is wrong with humans?
Jesus christ, it feels like everyday I learn a new dreadful horror about American life. How the fuck have we not run out of these creepy facts yet? The country is soo fucked up, I swear to god… It’s honestly hard to belive it’s a real place, it didn’t really sink in how much of a shit hole it is until I saw it my self… It’s a twilight world where pain is a virtue for some reason.
Wait, was/is that only a thing here‽
Husband bad. Good old Boomer Humor.
This isn’t boomer humor, it’s highlighting a misogynistic practice by flipping gender roles - pretty non-boomer imo.
Oh, right! It’s only boomer humor if Wife Bad.
Way to fail at detecting sarcasm while being sarcastic 🤦
I’m devastated. Y’all really teaching me a lesson here.
It’s clearly making fun of boomer humor. 🙄
“Clearly”
You’re right. “Clearly” is relative to the effectiveness of your brain cells, I understand your particular frustration given what your brain cells have produced in this conversation.
??? so he cannot defecate properly? I get the point, but this makes no sense.
To make him tighter when she pegs him, clearly
It’s to highlight something fucked up that’s sometimes done on women after giving birth.
Quoting another comment in the thread:
the Husband Stitch is a real thing that used to be pretty commonly done regardless of what the woman wanted and often without her foreknowledge or consent. It’s an extra stitch or two placed when sewing a woman back up after a vaginal tear or episiotomy during labor. The purpose is to make the woman “tighter” so her husband can still enjoy having sex with her even though she’s given birth, which is staggeringly misogynistic and cruel. And it usually results in really painful sex for the woman because her vaginal opening is artificially small plus now it has inflexible scar tissue.
Right, I’m just pointing out that it’s a bad meme. I understand what this is about.
The meme is fine. The point is this would never be done to a man, so it shouldn’t ever be done to a woman.
The adding “rule” makes anything cool rule.
i dont get it :<
somewone pws explain the joke to me
Not sure if it was ever actually done or just urban legend but there used to be something called “the husband stitch” where an OBGYN would add another stitch while repairing an episiotomy (when a woman tears a bit giving childbirth) supposedly to make her vagina tighter. A lot of things there don’t add up, but that’s what the joke is about.
Oh, it’s real. This was offered for my sister-in-law.
Not too long ago, this was also “offered” in the case of my sister.
The extra yucky part is it was offered to her husband without even her knowledge or consent.Husband stitch that doctor’s mouth so they never make that suggestion again. Men should not be allowed near OB.
“I can punch you in the face so you need the stitches” would be my answer.
Although odds are I’d only come up with it a few days later in the shower.
Yikes.
It’s not a joke nor a myth.
Worth the read.
If someone was wondering, there is nothing NSFW in that post.
Jesus fucking Christ. There are some real monsters practicing medicine.
Why do people think it’s an urban legend when women describe how they’ve been medically and sexually abused? 😐
Why is your comment so adversarial when previous commenter literally said they weren’t sure?
That’s not the same as dismissing women’s accounts so please don’t equate them
I didn’t mean them specifically. I assume the reason they’re not sure is because they’ve heard people call it a myth before, as have I. And I think it’s shitty that people do that.
