A test (I just made up) to see which is the incel comment: which one most-readily accepts a “m’lady?”
The fact that a woman of your caliber is on Hinge speaks poorly of the men in our generation, M’LADY. I’m sorry for them. Let me take you out and apologize in person.
Its not possible to genuinely compliment a stranger without putting in a lot of effort, which is creepy. Compliments should be for your friends and family, not thrown away freely in the desperate hope of making a connection. Should this opinion put me in the company of actual, human slave owner Andrew Tate??
A long time ago, I saw a reddit comment that observed the truth that men rarely get compliments, but when they do it probably means a lot; and women frequently get compliments but they’re usually fairly meaningless because often the comment originates with someone who wants something from them.
I never really thought about it before then, but the part I’ve experienced is true - I am a man, am rarely complimented, and am very grateful when I am. As such, since then, at every opportunity, I’ve complimented strangers - male and female - especially on something that clearly took courage or effort, like a loud shirt or an elaborate hairdo.
I try to do so in situations that make it clear I’m not seeking seeking anything in return, such as when the stranger and I are headed in opposite directions through a store vestibule. Hopefully that lends an air of authenticity to them. I’ve definitely gotten very rewarding responses more than once.
For one thing you are recognizing effort in others and thats genuine, you probably don’t want anything from them either. You don’t want to appear to be fishing for reciprocal compliments. You are doing “work” even if it is part of your practices and how you conduct yourself. Nothing wrong with trying to be kind, maybe you can see how it is different than what happens when you are in a conversation with a friend and acting naturally.
Its not possible to genuinely compliment a stranger without putting in a lot of effort, which is creepy.
I don’t put much effort into complimenting people. I notice something that’s outside the norm and observe it. If I don’t like it I don’t compliment it, but I don’t think one needs to know a person to acknowledge something one likes. It can easily drift into “creepy” territory, I agree with you there, so I avoid certain topics - that’s also why I try to only say things in passing. Most of them are probably obvious, but one that caught me off guard is that “boots” can sound like “boobs.” Much as I’m a fan of those, I’ve learned to say “shoes” these days.
And
Compliments should be for your friends and family
I strongly disagree. This is what inspired me to respond. Compliments should be for anyone you can respectfully flatter. There are compliments that should only be for your friends or family for sure. I try to regularly remind my wife of the things I love about her, but I wouldn’t say those things to a stranger. It does come down to a matter of subjective judgment, though.
brother. the phrase is unheard of there? the place where people live in medieval castles has no equivalent phrase you say? Nothing springs forth in your mind, truly, bestowing honorifics is such an American concept that no one in your entire nation has heard of the phrase: “MY LADY”. I swear to allah, that I will grab you through this screen with both hands and just shake you to hear the sound of two baked beans rattling around in that vacuous cave between your ears you tea swilling nonce.
I saw it as a cheesy compliment with an added layer of cheesy humour.
And most people like compliments and cheesy jokes.
But then again I also saw the top comment as an Andrew Tate-ish, “I’d rather be an incel than attempt to compliment a woman”, so what do I know…
A test (I just made up) to see which is the incel comment: which one most-readily accepts a “m’lady?”
Four score and seven years ago, m’lady…
To be, or not to be…m’lady
Once upon a midnight dreary, m’lady…
Seems legit…
The last two seem at least plausible. Both huge nerds. And Lincoln probably wanted more of Joshua Speed than society allowed, so…kinda, maybe?
Abe was a champion wrestler and had a great job as a railroad lawyer.
What he wanted, he got.
Maybe. After four years sharing a bed, maybe he wanted to put a ring on it.
Its not possible to genuinely compliment a stranger without putting in a lot of effort, which is creepy. Compliments should be for your friends and family, not thrown away freely in the desperate hope of making a connection. Should this opinion put me in the company of actual, human slave owner Andrew Tate??
A long time ago, I saw a reddit comment that observed the truth that men rarely get compliments, but when they do it probably means a lot; and women frequently get compliments but they’re usually fairly meaningless because often the comment originates with someone who wants something from them.
I never really thought about it before then, but the part I’ve experienced is true - I am a man, am rarely complimented, and am very grateful when I am. As such, since then, at every opportunity, I’ve complimented strangers - male and female - especially on something that clearly took courage or effort, like a loud shirt or an elaborate hairdo.
I try to do so in situations that make it clear I’m not seeking seeking anything in return, such as when the stranger and I are headed in opposite directions through a store vestibule. Hopefully that lends an air of authenticity to them. I’ve definitely gotten very rewarding responses more than once.
For one thing you are recognizing effort in others and thats genuine, you probably don’t want anything from them either. You don’t want to appear to be fishing for reciprocal compliments. You are doing “work” even if it is part of your practices and how you conduct yourself. Nothing wrong with trying to be kind, maybe you can see how it is different than what happens when you are in a conversation with a friend and acting naturally.
I meant only to challenge two things you said:
I don’t put much effort into complimenting people. I notice something that’s outside the norm and observe it. If I don’t like it I don’t compliment it, but I don’t think one needs to know a person to acknowledge something one likes. It can easily drift into “creepy” territory, I agree with you there, so I avoid certain topics - that’s also why I try to only say things in passing. Most of them are probably obvious, but one that caught me off guard is that “boots” can sound like “boobs.” Much as I’m a fan of those, I’ve learned to say “shoes” these days.
And
I strongly disagree. This is what inspired me to respond. Compliments should be for anyone you can respectfully flatter. There are compliments that should only be for your friends or family for sure. I try to regularly remind my wife of the things I love about her, but I wouldn’t say those things to a stranger. It does come down to a matter of subjective judgment, though.
Tryong to think of a British equivalent of ‘m’lady’ because that phraee is unheard of here
brother. the phrase is unheard of there? the place where people live in medieval castles has no equivalent phrase you say? Nothing springs forth in your mind, truly, bestowing honorifics is such an American concept that no one in your entire nation has heard of the phrase: “MY LADY”. I swear to allah, that I will grab you through this screen with both hands and just shake you to hear the sound of two baked beans rattling around in that vacuous cave between your ears you tea swilling nonce.
Not in the kind of neckbeard simp context. Only in the historical one
Thank you. I just couldn’t even muster the energy to respond.
m’birdy