fuck I’m not in the right headspace when I’m asking this, unresolved trauma. Now I’m repeating in my head “love them more than my mental illnesses”.

I wanted to warn an organization i cared about my past and that manipulation comes naturally to me to the point where I don’t notice after the fact. I legit want see them succeeded and stand in blind solidarity.

I have reached out someone in the organization about my issues. I’m hoping they respond.

  • melsaskca@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    8 hours ago

    Being aware of your unwanted behaviour is the first step towards modifying it. Good luck!

  • Malyca@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    18 hours ago

    I just want to say that this level of self reflection is admirable given your challenges. Tell people you trust or people that need to know only. As far as stigma goes, nobody has it worse.

    • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      16 hours ago

      until you realize trump is president, but the behavior is permissible just not labeling yourself as a narcissist. society does have rules that only exist to isolate us and hostility towards those that are mentally ill is one of them

  • Strider@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    1 day ago

    Are you really narcissistic or did someone just say you are (rhetorical question for yourself, not the internet)?

    If you really are, congratulations, knowing and admitting is a huge thing!

    Listen to the other advice, ask a professional.

    • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 day ago

      I feel like you’re the first to sincerely ask that. I can answer that I just have a trigger warning about it. Even though the other threads hint to how I know outside of a professional diagnosis

      • Strider@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 day ago

        It’s a neurodivergent thing, I often ask and say things outside of social habits. Also I don’t need the answer nor does it mean anything to me to be blunt, uh, again.

        • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          24 hours ago

          Okay I got ya. Nah I have an hole issue with communication. I don’t want problems to get overlooked or needless mistakes to be made.

          Probably neurodivergent myself since I can’t quite connect to another person

  • jenesaisquoi@feddit.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    1 day ago

    I assume you’re asking this because you’d like to reduce the impact of that kind of behaviour.

    If that is your goal, then it would be best attained by going to psychotherapy. NCD/ASPD cannot be healed, but it can be treated and its effects greatly reduced, assuming you’re willing to put in the work.

  • Fizz@lemmy.nz
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    67
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 days ago

    Probably a question that should be discussed with a therapist. I dont think people here can give a good answer as we lack to much context.

    • AskewLord@piefed.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      15
      arrow-down
      5
      ·
      2 days ago

      yes, but this is also a straight up troll.

      legit narcissists don’t think they are manipulating people, or being narcissists. they see their behavior as ‘natural’. they also don’t talk about their trauma.

      • rhombus@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        1 day ago

        Weird how often I see this take. Narcissism is really Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and it is possible for someone with NPD to recognize they have it and want to change. Not super common, but it is possible.

        • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          edit-2
          1 day ago

          Yep, although it’d be pretty surprising if it went like this. OP is straight up worried they’re being bad to others, and willing to invite embarrassment by announcing it. (Unless they never really meant it)

          Like, amateur over-the-internet diagnosis is worthless, but BPD would fit the almost no information we have better.

        • bedwyr@piefed.ca
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          22 hours ago

          Sure they will want to change, but they can’t, and won’t. Narcissists are the worst.

        • AskewLord@piefed.social
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          1 day ago

          is possible for someone with NPD to recognize they have it and want to change.

          at this point they are ceased being a narcissist.

      • BooBees@fedinsfw.app
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        2 days ago

        There’s plenty of narcissists that know they’re narcissists, and there’s therapy tools to help them participate in the world in a more healthy manner, but as you sorta indicated, it’s very rare any want to, and even more rare than any actively go down that path, so seeing someone speaking as if they’re struggling with it internally without seeing any sign of having already developed those tools makes it highly unlikely they’re legit. Probably just regular old mental illness of some sort, maybe attention seeking coupled with drug use and emotional instability. Wonder if they’re single, that’s right up my alley.

    • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 day ago

      Well if I was a shitty narcissist, but people are catching on that I’m shitty to MAGA and conservatives in general.

      You know shitty behavior is still shitty behavior

  • daggermoon@piefed.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    16
    ·
    1 day ago

    If you wish to address these behaviors you need to speak with a therapist. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s like a workout for your brain. We really can’t help you. I wish you well. It’s possible to change and better yourself, but only if you truly wish to.

    • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 days ago

      I’ve been working on myself and trying to be a better person. I’ve seen the beauty of nature and see how the entire history biosphere has made me and the bacteria i rely on and the food i eat. i learned to love every living thing because i can use them to influence events well beyond my death. I should learn to love other people because they’re the most capable species

      • gurty@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        2 days ago

        It doesn’t sound like narcissism (from my own experience with narcissistic people). It sounds more like you are having some sort of episode. I’d strongly, strongly suggest getting in touch with a professional. I genuinely hope you are okay.

        • AskewLord@piefed.social
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          2 days ago

          yeah. agreed. this is someone going through something, and drawing an intense and overly corrective conclusion. perhaps from a over developed sense of shame or guilt that has lead them to this conclusion.

          or perhaps they were in a relationship with a narcissist and that person has manipulated them into being their are the narcissist… and need to warn others about it… that is something a narcisst would do to someone else!

          i once had a relationship with a very unwell person, who tried to convince me of my own mental illness, which was a projection of their own. this person was also a practicing therapist… and i never realized how horrible it all was until a like 2 years later i saw therapist who pointed out to me how this fucked up and horrible this person really was and how unprofessional it was. esp because they basically like went down the dsm 5 and kept trying to convince me i had SOMETHING.

          • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            2 days ago

            Man reading your evaluation of me is interesting. Mostly just a shot in the dark damn they really wanted to practice psychology, do see other narcissist have a hard time hiding their narcissism from other people, I probably have a subtle aura around me

            • AskewLord@piefed.social
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              1 day ago

              No, you’re just dumb and delusional and full of yourself.

              That’s not narcissism, it’s you being an average person. Most people think they have magical auras. They are wrong.

              and your here on the internet, trying to bias-confirm yourself about how special and unique and amazing you are. just like everyone else.

              • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                1
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                1 day ago

                … I’m not calling the “subtle aura” magical, it’s just short hand for how my demeanor hints at my narcissism 😑

                Love the hostility I’m getting and the finger wagging I’m getting.

                • AskewLord@piefed.social
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  3
                  ·
                  1 day ago

                  all of which means you’re not a narcissistic dude.

                  narcissists don’t enjoy finger wagging and hostility. they hate it and they fly into a rage when it’s done to them.

                  why is it that you want so badly to be a narcissist? because it will give you a excuse to justify something shitty you did to folks?

        • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          2 days ago

          I’ve done that in the past. and i work on absolutely destroying ego’s for my amusement. it’s my favorite hobby

            • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              2 days ago

              yeah I enjoy it, i actually hesitant to encourage that behavior or give people advice on that. I don’t want mentally abusive tactics being used by irresponsible people or other lesser narcissists.

  • IWW4@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 day ago

    There is no point in telling them. They either already know or will find out once they meet you.

  • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    2 days ago

    You might have mental health issues, but I kind of doubt you have those ones just from the basic context.

    I’m going to say no. Try to be nice, let people figure out the rest. And look for some kind of support if possible.

      • Rhoeri@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        2 days ago

        I mean, the logic behind the answer is right there in the question itself. If you’re trying to be honest person because you respect this place, and it’s people, which it seems you are-

        Telling them it’s in your nature to deceive is definitely a way to protect them. Even if it’s from you yourself.

              • TachyonTele@piefed.social
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                3
                ·
                1 day ago

                Good sleep is important, especially after a night of introspection. It’s not a couple of days thing, it takes months to change a single habit. Keep at it and youll turn around in no time and think “i used to be like that”

      • Zozano@aussie.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        21 hours ago

        I was gonna say something like this.

        Narcissists have a very hard time accepting they’re narcissists.

        If you think “hmm, I might be a narcissist” you’re almost certainly not.

        But you might be a hypochondriac or have Munchausens

    • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 days ago

      well a guy claiming to by a psychiatrist said i wasnt a psychopath but instead a sadist and dipped. and i think i got diagnosed as that kind of depression where you don’t feel as high of swings

        • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          2 days ago

          oh no you can feel different levels of shit for sure, you can have suicidal thoughts then it stops… I don’t know psychology all that well. manipulation is more intuitive for me. i mean that as more context for what i actually mean

          • village604@adultswim.fan
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            1 day ago

            That doesn’t necessarily mean psychopathy or narcissism in a clinical sense. Being manipulative is sometimes a coping mechanism people learn from their parents.

            I highly suggest seeing a therapist to figure it out.

      • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        2 days ago

        What do you mean by them claiming to be a psychiatrist? If you saw them in a professional capacity (i.e. office visit, whether in person or virtual, that insurance paid for, at least in part) then yes, they were a licensed psychiatrist. If it was some random person online, then it’s doubtful

        • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          2 days ago

          weird when I get drilled for a claim someone made. the context is that its apocryphal. they said they worked with psychopaths in a psych ward i think (memmories fuzzy but its in one of my lemmy accounts). I actually do agree with him and it caused a little self reflection

            • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              arrow-down
              3
              ·
              2 days ago

              So are you a dick to everyone that admits they’re not in the right headspace or just me. I admit I’m a manipulative narcissist that can make people like you feel shitty. I already pointed out in the past that Lemmy users are mentally ill and need to confront their issues.

              • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                3
                ·
                1 day ago

                I’m speaking objectively, I’m not criticizing you. Your emotional and defensive response says more about you than me. I encourage you to step back and look at what was said again.

                • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  1 day ago

                  No i actually putting the idea in your head that you’re bringing demanding and toxic in your head.

                  I had another guy ask me how I was sexually assaulted and their first thought was to ask if dry humping was penetration…

  • venusaur@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    2 days ago

    Are you manipulating us right now in order to get some answer you want?

    As people said, talk to a therapist. Is this normal behavior or thought patterns? Maybe you’re going through some sort of crisis or psychosis.

    Reach out to a professional for help. Good luck!

    • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      2 days ago

      yes actually im intentionally making you all curious so that yall will listen and to help me process old trauma. yeah i plan these things in advance and i use a manipulation tactic to bring people together

      • venusaur@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        2 days ago

        Do you get some satisfaction from sharing your trauma with others? Like you get a kick out of people’s reactions?

        • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          2 days ago

          Is this like an actual psych evaluation?

          I’ll jerk off your reactions if you want me to say depraved shit for valuetainment